All comments are welcome!
Cheb wrote:[cranks his nitpicking streak up to eleven] Let's begin...
Nitpicking like a bulldog -- because if not me then who?
>with knee-length boots and gloves.
Knee-length gloves?
Your nitpicking is epic. I'll take a look.
>The skirt was very short and pitch-black
I don't know why people keep calling Pluto's skirt black. It's very dark green -- unless you changed that on purpose.
*takes a look at the reference picture*
Uhh, I see black... maybe I need a better picture? I should point out the anime (according to wikimoon) also used black, and its own description on the manga costume section basically cites the anime version, plus changes X, Y and Z which are not in any way color related.
I'm sorry, but I just don't see where the green is. Do you have a picture I can look at?
>as she also noticed a girl lying on the floor,
>then practically slammed the closet door shut
>Ranma turned to the fallen girl,
So she poke her head outside she had to, to notice the door was dfifferent from the other side, and only then noticed the girl. This leaves impression that the girl was on the other side which makes the next phrases confusing.
I'm... not sure... did you take those lines from different paragraphs? In any case, Puu is on the non-Corridor of Time side of the door, and made that somewhat clear. Maybe what threw you off was Kasumi noticing the door first? If not, can you be more specific on what made you think I meant Puu was on the other side?
>Pity the hot water will break down for a week.
Uh... will break as in predicting the future? Or "will stay/remain broken"?
I'm not that good with the English verb tenses but I have a nagging suspicion something's wrong here.
Yes. Something is very wrong. For Ranma.
>"Her? Oh, this I got to see. Another fiancee?", Nabiki remarked, before grinning.
She's too awake. First, you need a cannon to wake her, but if that's your authors will that she awoke then at least make her sleepy and slow-witted. Until she had her morning coffee, she's a zombie.
Lawra addressed this already. Fanon on the way out with the garbage. Any fanon I retain is either accidental (because I
can't get rid of my own preconceptions entirely formed from years of fic reading... though I'm trying) or I made a conscious choice to keep it for some good reason. And note that accidental fanon for me is Do Not Want. If you find fanon, please point it out to me so I can check if it is As Intended or Damn It All Die Die Die DIIIIE.
(note that if you find a discrepancy from canon, or what you believe to be canon, I'd rather have you speak up than wonder, so thanks for bringing that up anyways)
>Thanks pops, sometimes you're really awesome.
[a heart-felt tear of joy] At last! At last I find an author who respects Genma!
Yep. Genma IS awesome. Sometimes. When he's not drunk with his buddy Soun. Or being a Fail.
>at seeing Soun drooling on his feet,
You'd think he'd be jaded to that by now
Not really, I think. Ranma was shown once early on flashing Soun and eliciting quite a reaction from him, but for the most part Soun was spared nubile female flesh flashing. Very few instances. However, it could be my memory playing tricks so if you could cite some instances where Soun was flashed and his reaction, I'll adjust as adequate.
Thanks for commenting!