The Silicon Senshi Chapter 2

[J. St.C. Patrick]

It has only been a year and bit since I posted the first chapter of the Silicon Senshi, so as a reminder here is a link to Chapter 1.

And now without further ado, I present the long awaited second chapter in the continuing saga.

Ichigeki Sacchu!! HoiHoi-san was created by Tanaka Kunihiko, pulbished in Japan by Media Works and in North America by Infinity Studios

Ranma1/2 was created by Rumiko Takahashi, and is published in North America by VIZ Media

This is a work of fanfiction.

The Silicon Senshi

Chapter 2 – Tatewaki’s Dream Girls?

The year is 20XX. Insects have become immune to all pesticides. In order to kill them a Japanese company created the bug destroying robot HoiHoi-san. A rival company, quickly introduced Combat-san. In an effort to not let either Mars/Xentex-Mars or Kinryu, corner the market Furinkan-PharmEx introduced Ranko-San…

Tatewaki Kuno, the proud scion of the house of Kuno was sitting in the Kendo Club’s clubroom at Furnikan High school meditating alternately on the two loves of his life. Akane Tendo and the Pigtailed Girl - the epitomes of feminine purity and healthy beauty. They played hard to get, but in the end that would make the getting that much sweeter.

He contemplated the many times he would espy the Pigtailed Girl wet, as if caught in a sudden shower. In his mind’s eye he saw her standing on a green hill in a finely appointed kimono …

“Oh, dearest Tatewaki,” she would begin upon seeing him, then quote the verse of a Nara period poet, her hands clasped innocently over her breasts,

“In the dew dripping
On this broad flanked hill
Waiting for you
I stand dampened
By the dew on this hill


Then he ever the gallant samurai would respond to her, amending the text where he felt appropriate…


Waiting for me
You were dampened.
O that I could be
The dew dripping
On your broad flanked hills




He sighed happily at the thought of her, unencumbered by the vile Saotome, accepting his embrace as the sun set.

His meditations were interrupted by the sense that he was not alone with his thoughts. ‘This is strange,’ he thought as he slowly turned his head this way and that and ascertained that he was indeed the sole human in this inner sanctum.

Again he felt the presence, and this time heard a light tapping. As if he were hearing tiny footsteps. He looked around, no one was there. Dismissing it as the echoes of a person walking in another part of the school emanating from an air vent he returned to his thoughts.

The bright flashes of light and the sound of an automatic weapon being fired brought him to the stark realization that he was not alone in the room. Looking down slowly, as befitted one of his station in life, he finally espied the source of the footsteps that had been haunting him and the explosions that had broken his concentration.

It was the pigtailed girl! Shrunken by some strange magicks, no doubt. She stood, he estimated, no more than twelve centimeters tall and was holding a machine gun that was greatly oversized for her new scale.

She turned and while not looking at him, faced him. Her eyes! They were glowing blue, but they looked so dead. And her face! While undoubtedly her face, there was none of the healthy beauty he had come to adore about it. What evil had befallen her to bring her to such a low estate? Her movements were so mechanical, a mockery of her usual vibrant grace. She was like one of those ensorcelled souls from the voodoo isles, what was the term… A zombie! Oh, his poor pigtailed girl! Not only turned into a zombie but a voodoo doll as well!

While Tatewaki pondered the tragic circumstances the pigtailed girl found herself in, the Ranko-san insect killing robot continued her task of ridding the room of insect infestation. Walking across the floor she stopped and fired a few more rounds at a skittering cockroach then changed the magazine on her weapon. When her sensors were satisfied that there were no more viable targets she exited the room through a flap built in to the wall. A moment later she returned with a broom and a plastic bag and began sweeping up the remains of her kills.

He did not see this, lost as he was in his thoughts as to what to do for the zombified of the voodoo doll variety. He vaguely recalled hearing that you shouldn’t wake them lest their soul be lost forever. Or was that sleepwalkers. No matter, he, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High would free the pigtailed girl from the clutches of the vile witch doctor who had so tragically bewitched her. He turned to her to make his pronouncement of aid only to find that she had disappeared. From right in front of his very eyes!

Explicative! Where had she gone? How could he help her if he knew not where she went? In a sweeping move he stood, his hakama billowing around his legs. Scanning the room, he determined that she was not hiding anywhere. Striking a pose, the proud kendoka strode to the doors, flung them open and blinked for a moment in the bright sunlight.

Tatewaki was jolted for a moment, and only a moment, when a pair of feet momentarily used his cranium as a stepping stone. Only one person ever dared use his head as a landing pad.

“SAOTOME! How dare you….” but it was not the foul Saotome, enslaver of women, that he saw bounding off.

“Pigtailed Girl! Oh, how I worried about you how did you escape the foul voodoo master?”

“Whatcha talkin’ about Kuno?” came the mellifluous voice of the redhead, as she stopped in mid bounce and, landing gracefully, turned to face the tall upperclassman.

Lost in her voice for a moment, Tatewaki knew that ‘Dearest darling’, though not said, was implied. “Not two moments ago you were in my chamber…”

“Two moments ago I was in Class”

Clearly the voodoo master had clouded her memories when he returned her to her full estate. It would not do to confuse the poor ensorcelled maiden.

“And why would I have any trouble escaping from Gosunkugi?” she inquired sweetly. Again the ‘Dearest darling’ was left unspoken, but clearly heartfelt.

It was true that the retiring wisp Gosunkugi was a dabbler in the mystic arts. But Tatewaki did not think him capable of such heinous actions.

“Nay. I did not refer to that pitiful excuse of a boy. Rather to one more powerful than he who has confused your mind and played havoc with your size”

“My size?” came the curious reply as she examined her bosom.

Tatewaki blushed as he said “Forgive me, sweet pigtailed girl. I meant your height. I did not mean to impugn your bounteous maidenly charms.”

“What about my height?” The pigtailed girl’s eyes flashed angrily.

Clearly this was a sore subject for the apple of his eye.

“Not two moments ago you were fifteen centimeters tall”

“Eh?” She eyed him curiously, “You’ve not been inhaling incense, have you?” She leaned in and sniffed his breath “Or sake?”

“I do not wonder at your incredulousness, but I am pure. And you were in my chamber not two moments ago, standing all of fifteen centimeters tall and carrying a gun of outrageous proportion.”

No sooner than he said that than the pigtailed girl was examining his head for recent bumps swellings and contusions but found nothing beyond the dusty prints her slippers had left.

She eyed him for a moment and said, “You should go home and rest, Kuno. You’re seeing things.” Again, ‘Dearest darling’ was left unspoken as she turned and continued on her way muttering about finding hot water.

As he watched her bounce away, Tatewaki could not help but feel pride that even in her subjugation to the mysterious voodoo master she showed her concern for his well being. Further proving the markedly obvious that their love would conquer all.

But though she was free for the moment he was certain that it was only temporary and that the vile voodoo master would ensnare her in his tentacles of evil once more. He vowed to himself that he would free the pigtailed girl.

But how? He did not know where to begin to look for this nefarious practitioner of the dark arts. Perhaps he should begin with that lower classman Gosunkugi. As a devotee of the mysterious the pale boy might have some ideas…

Just then a scream pierced the air and Tatewaki looked in the direction it came from. The pale boy in question had just nailed his hand to a tree, having missed the straw doll that now lay at his feet. And the candles tied to his head were even now igniting the leaves of the tree as he thrashed about. Perhaps, Kuno thought on viewing the sight, seeking a professional‘s aid would be a better way to save his love.

00oo00

A raven haired miko dressed in white and red robes was sweeping leaves off the porch of the temple as the young would be samurai approached.

“Welcome to our Shrine” she respectfully greeted, while bowing to the visitor. “How may I be of service to you?”

As lovely as she was she did not hold a candle to the fair Akane or the beauteous pigtailed girl, thus he resolved to be as business like as possible and not succumb to her charms.

“The girl I love has fallen prey to a practitioner of dark and mystic arts. I do not know who the perfidious beast is nor do I know where to find him. Your shrine is known throughout the breadth of Japan for the tending and reading of the sacred fire. I turn to you in hopes that I may gain the knowledge of how to free my darling love.”

She smiled and said, “Come with me and I will find my grandfather, the priest of this shrine” Inwardly she thought: Dear god, not another one.

00ooo00

“So, my young samurai,” the diminutive old priest began invitingly as they knelt facing each other, “tell me what troubles you so to bring you here to seek the aid of our humble shrine.”

“The virtuous pigtailed girl who captured my heart has herself been ensnared by an evil master of Voodoo!” Tatewaki declaimed.

“Indeed. Is she pretty?” the bald priest leaned forward.

“She is the epitome of healthy beauty, a delicate flower beyond compare, one deserving to be worshiped as the goddess whose earthly manifestation she is. In short: a woman who is most worthy of being my consort. That is why it is so tragic that first she fell first to the vile machinations of Saotome and now has fallen into the clutches of an evil magician who even now is making her into his zombie slave. Though, “ Tatewaki paused, ” she was only zombified for a brief time and moments later returned to her rightful mind and full estate, but was entirely unaware of what had been done to her.”

“Ah, so. We may yet be able to save your poor love from a fate worse than death. Hmm, let me ponder this.” With that the old man closed his eyes and appeared deep in thought.

And so they sat, priest and samurai, deep in thought pondering the fate of the pigtailed girl neither moving. Birds chirped and the cicadas buzzed and a curious dragonfly flew past in a zigzag course. An hour and then another went by and still they sat.

The miko came in and realized that her grandfather had fallen asleep and the wannabe samurai was not about to say anything. Almost without thinking she did what came naturally to her and she hit her grandfather with her broom.

“Grandfather, perhaps we should do a fire reading for the young gentleman.” she suggested while the priest’s eyes stopped swirling.

“Ahem, quite right my dear child. A rire feeding … I mean fire reading… is exactly what we should do... I mean you should do. I'm feeling rather dizzy at the moment and need to lie down." And with that he fell over onto the tatami mats.

Rei sat before the fire and thought to herself ‘Setsuna would love this’. She kept getting what seemed to be post-apocalyptic images of a strange looking senshi fighting gigantic cockroaches. The redheaded senshi‘s fuku had a red with black polka dot motif. And what was with the antennae on her head? Not to mention the automatic weaponry she kept using along with her magical attacks. What happened to the fight for love and justice? At least she did seem to have a lot of success fighting the giant bugs.

How this fit in with the ravings of the would-be Samurai Lothario, who was waiting with an expectant look on his face, she did not know. So far no images had manifested of zombified girls or puppet masters or sorcerers. Though the red hair in a pigtail did match his somewhat vague description of a goddess come to earth, radiant with healthy beauty. And given the way the girl in her vision terminated the bugs - she was no delicate flower either.

The images of the bugs being blasted did disturb her, though she marshaled her features so as not to show it. Was this a new threat she and the other senshi should be worried about? If so why had Setsuna not warned them?

Turning to the kendo enthusiast she said, ”The fire has shown me many things that I must meditate on. Please leave me a number where I can contact you.”

With a flourish that had Rei rolling her eyes, Tatewaki produced an inkstone, brush and inkwell and on a sheet of expensive paper wrote his number down. She glanced at it and sighed internally – if only his calligraphy matched his enthusiasm.

She then escorted him to the door of the temple and with a promise that she would call him, bid him goodnight (and good riddance) and thanked him for visiting the shrine.

Though Tatewaki gracefully bowed to the miko and strode away from the temple he was bothered by the fact he would have to wait for an answer to his quest. He was a man of action. Patience might be a virtue, but when your true love is in danger it rankled to have to wait. However, he was glad he had tasked his ninja manservant Sasuke to keep watch over his beloved tree-borne kettle girl.

oo00oo

“For the last time Sasuke – GO Home! There is nothing wrong with me!”

“But I can’t go home. I was told to watch you and watch you I will. Besides, Kasumi invited me to dinner. Now please pass the takoyaki.”

o000o

The next day dawned bright and early, but it was a bleary eyed Tatewaki who made his way to Furinkan high school. His dreams had been invaded by a faceless evil magician who towered over the school turning all the girls in Nerima into tiny zombified slaves, beginning with the pigtailed girl and then his dearest Akane.

For some reason though, it did not bother him as much when the wizard turned Nabiki.

He consoled himself that it was only a dream and that the fierce tigress Akane had not been touched by the perverted magic. However, he took the dream as a sign that he must do something to prevent such an occurrence from happening!

Then, too, what was he to do about his dearest pigtailed girl? She had unknowingly escaped the clutches of the foul enslaver, but what if she fell to his perverted magicks again?

With such thoughts he made his weary way to his classroom and sat through interminable classes.

Finally, when the hands of the clock completed their slow march around the arc of the dial to the lunch hour, he found solace in his meditation room where he sat and pondered the night’s dream before the posters of his delightful Akane and cherished pigtailed girl.


While lost in his ponderings, that is to say dreamland, where he and the two objects of his heart’s desire romped hand in hand across a flowered meadow, the sounds of squeaking footsteps and automatic weapons fire brought him back to reality.

His hands flew to his temple and his mouth was agape as his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as he beheld both the pigtailed girl and… Akane, too, dear gods! Miniaturized; wearing some strange variation of a school sailor fuku; beribboned, bowed and heavily armed. He was transfixed. His nightmare was coming true! Time seemed to slow down and messages from his brain were not getting to his arms and legs. The girls left his line of sight, and when his body came back on line he rushed to the door but there was no sign of them anywhere.

Grabbing his bokken he left his sanctuary behind, only to run into the fair Akane walking with the foul Saotome. He breathed a sigh of relief that she had been restored.

Laying his hands on her shoulders he began, “Oh, Akane dearest, thank goodness you are all right! The foul somurgleomgrloeg…”

His speech was interrupted by a well placed fist to the face.

“Upperclassman Kuno, please remove your hands from my shoulders” Akane said in the politest form she could while withdrawing her hand from his cheek as he slumped to the floor.

“I wonder who the foul Somurgleomgrloeg is? Has he been watching Slayers?” said Ranma.

“That’s your favourite show, Lina”

“What would you know about it, Amelia?” with that Ranma took off with Akane close behind swinging her schoolbag, leaving a dazed and confused Tatewaki behind.

0ooo0ooo0


“So, let me get this straight…”

Wasting no time when he had recovered from Akane’s love tap, Tatewaki had immediately returned to the shrine and now stood listening to the resident miko.

“The two fairest flowers of Furinkan maidenhood have been ensorcelled and reduced to mindless slavery to be used in some nefarious scheme involving high powered oversized automatic weaponry…” Rei pinched her nose. “… Then returned with no knowledge of ever having been zombified. And you fear that no girl at your school is safe from becoming pawns for some vile puppet master. But as yet no one else has seen these mesmerized damsels in senshi sailor seifuku. Is that the gist of it?”

“Indeed my good shrine maiden, that is correct”

She stared at him for a moment. There was something about his haughty demeanor that made her want to have as little to do with him as possible. But, as lives might be at stake…

“Fine. I will do another fire reading, please wait here”

She stared at the flames in shock, there actually seemed to be a grain of truth behind the samurai wannabe’s ravings. For this time the fire showed two girls in the strangely styled sailor fuku and paired antennae sported on their heads fighting oversized bugs with impossibly large weapons and magical attacks.

If two girls were now being forced to fight giant insects why not three girls or, even more likely, tens of hundreds of more mind controlled girls. How often had she seen that scenario as Sailor Mars?

And what was the deal with the antennae anyway?


00oo00

The look on the miko’s face as she returned from the mystic fire told him much. First that she had seen something that confirmed to her that he was truthful (As if he would lie about the cherished pigtailed girl or his dear Akane). Second that she had seen something else, something terrible in its aspect. But not, he deduced, who was behind the terrible ensorceling of his two loves.

“I must meditate further upon what I have seen. Do nothing until I contact you.”

Those kindly words echoed in his ears as did the memory of her tender touch as she walked with him to the temple gate at an endearing pace that was oh so short. But as he was keeping himself for his two loves he thanked her kindly, bowed and walked away.

00ooo00

Rei shook her head as she walked back to the temple. She hadn’t wanted to toss him in to the street like that, but he didn’t seem to take the hint that she was dismissing him. Now if what the fire had shown her was definitely a future threat, then Setsuna “had some ‘splainnin’ to do”.

00ooo00

To say the least the sight of Setsuna curled up with laughter on the floor of her apartment was not the explanation she was expecting to the situation she presented.

“Hoo! Hoo! HA! Hoo! Hee! Ha! Ho Ho! heh, heh, heh. hee hee. Giant k… k… cockroaches! ha! hee. Zombie Girls in Senshi seifuku! hee ha ha ha! Antennae! ha! ho! hee!.”

It took ten minutes before the senshi of Pluto could compose herself enough to speak complete sentences and even then she had to strain to keep from bursting into laughter once again. Giving up her attempts to speak for the moment, she walked to her kitchen and came back with a doll in her hands.

For a moment Rei was wondering why Setsuna was bringing her one of Hotaru’s toys when she recognized the red hair.

“This is Ranko-San. She is a marvelous invention that keeps my residence free from insects and other bugs.”

00ooo00

The wealthy, but troubled, and quite delusional scion of the Samurai knelt before the miko of the Hikawa shrine awaiting with bated breath her pronouncement on the fates of his dearest loves.

“Kuno-san,” she began, “I have pondered the vision of the fire and it has been revealed to me that your loves have not been ensorcelled or zombified, neither have they been shrunk. They are not under the control of a mysterious puppet master. What you have seen are two tiny insecticidal robots that just happen to look like your friends. The robots are made by Furinkan-Pharmex and are available in most pharmacies and all over Akihabara”

Tatewaki looked askance.

“Do you understand?”

He sat there dumbfounded.

“Are you all right, Kuno-san?”


His eyes refocused. He stood and bowed to the miko and made his way out of the shrine. On his way home he stopped before a pharmacy which had Ranko-san & Akane-san insecticidal robots prominently displayed in the window.

Striking up a pose with feet apart, one hand raised, index finger pointing to the sky, and his other hand on his sheathed bokken, he declared, “I must have them both!”

End -- Chapter 2

[DCG]

OK this got me laughing. All tho not as bad as setsuna it seems.

Shame she spoiled it, i was starting to wounder how long you would be able to keep that up.

So any ideas on where to take all this? Or Ranma and Akane grilling Nabiki on it? I'm finding it odd kasumi don't have a pair around the dojo.

[Ellen Kuhfeld]

OH GOLLY, "I must have them both!" (Image of me rolling on the floor along with Setsuna.)

Perhaps I qualify for that myself, as I have both the manga and the anime of HoiHoi San. In any case - great fun.

[Dumbledork]

Very funny. Now what I'd like to see is Nabiki in Court. First for using Ranma's and Akane's likenesses without their consent. Second for all the damage the dolls have been causing in the households that boguht them.

[J. St.C. Patrick]

Thanks for the comments - glad you enjoyed it.

OK this got me laughing. All tho not as bad as setsuna it seems.

Shame she spoiled it, i was starting to wounder how long you would be able to keep that up.

I was wondering that myself. I decided to end it early rather than drag it out too long.

So any ideas on where to take all this? Or Ranma and Akane grilling Nabiki on it? I'm finding it odd kasumi don't have a pair around the dojo.

Now there's a thought- kasumi having a pair around the dojo. I'll have to have a grilling scene at some point, after all I have them asking for explanations off stage in the first chapter.

OH GOLLY, "I must have them both!" (Image of me rolling on the floor along with Setsuna.)

Heh.

Perhaps I qualify for that myself, as I have both the manga and the anime of HoiHoi San. In any case - great fun.

Where did you get the anime?

I qualify for having them both: HoiHoi-san & Ranko-San on my desk top:



Hmm... Ranko-san seems a little unsteady on her feet there.

Very funny. Now what I'd like to see is Nabiki in Court. First for using Ranma's and Akane's likenesses without their consent. Second for all the damage the dolls have been causing in the households that bought them.

There's an idea - perhaps have her defended by a Perry Mason, or Rumpole of the Japanese courts.

[Dumbledork]

Nice statue. I have a ranko resin statue too, but I think mine's better made

[Ellen Kuhfeld]

Where did you get the anime?

I downloaded it. I don't remember where from, but it is available on Animesuki under the name of Ichigeki Sacchuu!! Hoihoi-san

[J. St.C. Patrick]

Ellen - Thanks for the link

Dumbledork - Yes, yours is probably better built to boot. But my Ranko isn't a Resin statue, rather she is a gashopon figure. She only looks bigger because she was closer to the camera ( a bit of photoshoping erased her base.)

Here's a better comparative image of the two:

[Dumbledork]

I'll try and take a picture of it and post it.