Dreams of 9

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Postby migele » Wed May 23, 2007 2:45 am

Dr.Dr.Prof.gem wrote:Uhh... migele, please be aware that comics of any description are not known for excellence in editing and/or proofreading. In other words, very few comics I have seen should be treated as normative references on how to use English. In fact, quite a few of them make good references on what not to do.


Might be, but I have to make due with what I get and didn't find a phrase like that in any on the fantasys I read. most of them ARE in english but usually it isn't till first hit but till death there, or some other rules.

kitty wrote:I agree. 'til in this context is short for 'until.'

Alternatively you could say "to first blood" instead.


So anyone know anything like that phrase the sounds a little archaic? Or maybe sadistic would be fine.
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Postby Cyber_Skaarj » Mon May 28, 2007 5:50 am

'til first blood is fine, and it is the phrase that is used most often. Take it from an Englishman, and someone who is quite familiar with his own country's language.
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Re: Dreams of 9

Postby migele » Sat Nov 14, 2009 5:56 pm

Forgot far too many of the changes I wanted to make.

corrected a bit, overlooked the wording.

now I know this fic sounds fragmented, but that's how it's meant to be. those are fragments taken out of line.

Dreams of 9

Disclaimer: Not mine, nope, not at all.

Inspired by: Nightmare on Elm Street and another Film I forgot the title of, they went into dreams there.

Warnings: Where the hell did this come from? Slight shoujo-Ai, rather one sided … VERY one sided. I think…

Timeline: Somewhen after Pharao90

Spoilers: Can't find any, but than again I haven't seen a lot of Sailor Moon.

------

Dreams of 9


For Hotaru Tomoe Dreams were different. She had normal dreams, as far as the occasional weird thing or nightmare. But usually it was a new vision, or a new memory from the past.
Being Sailor Saturn, a shy weapon of mass destruction, sucked big time.
This however wasn't the reason Hotaru didn't like going to bed. Removing a shadow from eternal darkness was impossible.

------

It was with a certain amount of nervousness that Hotaru closed her eyes. Sleep never came easily, for certain reasons.
As her eyes opened again she found herself standing in a park. Green trees, soft grass, flowers in full bloom. The blood red roses with their sweet and heavy scent were her first hint. This was going to be one of those dreams. The problem was, they were always different.
"Over here." A dark sensual voice called.
Hotaru shivered, definitely one of those dreams. She turned around to see her personal shadow holding a picnic basket and a blanket. "Picnic?"
Mistress 9 smiled. "Would you prefer fighting me?"
Hotaru shook her head. Fighting Mistress 0 in a dream-scape was hazardous, they both had some control over the surroundings and access to a lot of power. Usually the dream-scape didn't survive that. "What did you make?"
"A few sandwiches and some roast turkey. I got ice cream for dessert."
That didn't sound to bad.
"Now sit down and I'll feed you."
OR maybe it was bad.

------

Hotaru stared at her homework. Interpretation of a dream. Most of her 'dreams' left no space for interpretations as they were memories or as they featured Mistress 9. Somehow she knew that interpreting her visitor was NOT what she was supposed to do.
Being Hotaru Tomoe, Senshi of Saturn and host of Mistress 9 sucked big time.

------

"There you are."
Hotaru whirled around. "Not today! I need a normal dream."
"Why?" Mistress 9 asked. The clearly battle ready shadow asked.
"My homework, I need a normal dream, that I can actually try to interpret."
The smile Hotaru got back was nothing short of feral. "'til first blood."
"What?"
Mistress 9 attacked.

------

Hotaru woke up much later, blushing madly. "I'm to young for that kind of dream, dammit." Realizing that she just swore she carefully glanced around before she collapsed onto her pillow. "The one time I get rid of her I dream of the other shy girl in my class. Like it's my fault all the 'men' were scared of me back than." Hotaru turned and stared at the ceiling. "And they fear me again."

Slowly the girl rose. After freshening up in the bathroom she looked at herself in the mirror. "Condemned by fate to be a lesbian." This was in no way a pleasant thought for the girl. Back in her room she sat at her desk and started on her homework. Maybe she should try to interpret that picnic with 9 two weeks ago? Of course omitting the part where 9 made her lie down and fed her the strawberries. Yes that might work for a homework.

------

The homework had worked out perfectly, though she had gotten a few weird looks for her description of a 'grabby blackhair that wouldn't take a no for an answer' and the strawberries. She wondered if she missing some hidden meaning in those, and that she really should have omitted those.

------

Hotaru sighed. Last night her visitor had attacked, together they destroyed Tokyo, Chicago, New York and Loch Ness. Hotaru personally blamed Minako for the tentacle monster, though it never stood a chance against the two girls. Hotaru idly mused if she was superpowered, or was it hyperpowered? She doubted that many people had the power she and her shadow commanded. Even when it came to the Senshi the Queen was the only one who even came close. And she protected the seals on her power by herself.
"Watch where you go." A boy growled as he ran into her.
"Sorry" Hotaru mumbled and wished she could just blast him to bits. Or that she could turn him over to her shadow. She doubted that 9 would have trouble with playing a little with him. Things would be so much easier if she could just let loose, but that would mean to stop caring.
Hotaru wasn't ready to stop caring, yet. Maybe in the future but she still held hope for humanity.

------

She remembered. It was ball on the moon. She who was now called Usagi had been born a year ago. Everyone danced, everyone had fun. Everyone but her. Her black dress was hugging her and rather plain, except that it seemed to glow darkness. While a great contrast it seemed to reinforce the fright the people had of her.
So she waited for what would never happen, someone to ask her for a dance. Well one person did, it was a small girl, daughter to one of the palace servants, she had red hair, red as freshly spilled blood. There she was. Hotaru did what she remembered, she accepted and they danced. The twelve year old palace servant and the over thousand years old angel of death and life. One thing made her smile, the dancers parted around them, allowing them the space that others lacked.
In the future the two of them would meet again, there would even be a small affair between them. Twelve years later it would be her that was going to deliver the first child of the union of the girl and her husband. A healthy red haired girl that was going to have the name of Celcia. The girl would die in the war that was the end of silver millennium. It was her death that made Hotaru unleash part of her true power, the circle of life an death. The only attack that was truly what she was. Pietati et Literis, the beginning of the end.

The dance ended and the girl had to go. Hotaru prepared herself for standing the rest of the evening when she came. Black hair and a white mask, a yellow dress that was at the limit of what was considered decent for an occasion like this.
"May I have this dance?" the soft voice asked.
"My lead?" Hotaru asked. It was always hers.
A nod and they started. For hours they danced, two women, Hotaru did not care that this was not like her memories. It beat standing for hours.
At the end of the final dance she dipped her partner low. Only to see the mask fade away and 9 smiling at her before she closed the space between their lips. She did something that never happened in real life. She dropped her dancing partner.
9 pouted. "Hotaru play nice."
Hotaru stared at her Shadow. "You were acting nice?" It was more a statement than a question.
"You know when the last time was that I had a decent dance?" 9 got up. "Some two millennia or so ago."
"This was mine, about eleven millennia ago."
"It sucks to be you."
"I know." Hotaru sighed.
"Peace for tonight?" 9 offered a wicked grin on her face.
Hotaru had the feeling that was going to regret this but she nodded anyway.
"Good, as I don't have a room that means I'll bunk with you."
Hotaru sighed, there was always a catch.

------

Live went on, enemies came, enemies went, enemies died. But at the last enemy something happened that she couldn't forgive.
They had attacked her, they had planned on sacrificing her. That wouldn't do. It would be so easy to wide them out, just a small flick at night and all would be over.

They would pay, not now not soon, but they will. 9 was surprisingly encouraging. Offering hints on how it would hurt the most. But surprisingly it was 9 who calmed down from destroying the house with the two inside while she ans Setsuna weren't inside. "I like our room." Somehow dieing again had bonded the two of them even more. "Make them suffer, death is swift, but embarrassment and humiliation can last for ever."
"So any idea how we are going to do this?" Hotaru asked her Shadow. This time they were sitting on an asteroid on one of Saturn's rings. The vacuum of space wasn't bothering them at all, what was bothering Hotaru was the fact that 9 was cuddled against her side. "It's cold here." the shadow had said.
Now they were brainstorming, none of them were pranksters or very social, so humiliating someone wasn't something either of them had ever done.
"We need help, but none of us knows anyone we could sick on them."
"I know Setsuna is put of by them as well, maybe the two of us should move out, but they are still our guardians." Hotaru offered.
9 gave her a small squeeze, "But they won't give you up voluntary, it helps them play mum, dad and cute daughter."
"Living with the weird aunt or granny that no-one talks about."
The two girls shared a giggle.
"But it is a start, and now shoo, you have to get up."
"You are the one lying on top of me."
"I mean you have to wake up."
"Oh."

Authors Notes v0.0: This was created during work. The longest I took for a sentence there was five breaks.

Author Notes v0.1: added scene at the end, some cosmetics in between. Wanted to make another change, but forgot what it was. It has been long ago that I last touched this fic. Special thanks to gsteemso and Alathon
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Re:

Postby Té Rowan » Sun Nov 15, 2009 1:46 pm

Alathon wrote:"Till" isn't a word, ...

You have never tilled a field, then. Nor have I, mind.

... "I'm to young for that kind of dream, dammit!"

To/too/two - you're not the first one (or the last one) to fall in the homonym trap.
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Re: Re:

Postby Ellen Kuhfeld » Sun Nov 15, 2009 5:00 pm

Té Rowan wrote:To/too/two - you're not the first one (or the last one) to fall in the homonym trap.

Be vewy vewy quiet -- I'm hunting homonyms ...
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Re: Dreams of 9

Postby migele » Sun Nov 15, 2009 5:40 pm

to/too corrected.

anything else?
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Re: Dreams of 9

Postby kitten » Sun Nov 15, 2009 9:26 pm

Delurking to say I liked it better when it said "wasn't without a certain amount." Litotes are my favorite literary device, if you couldn't tell from my post... two years ago? That's almost as bad as my lurking on TFF.
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Re: Dreams of 9

Postby Daniel Jess Gibson » Mon Nov 16, 2009 7:19 am

migele wrote:Yo I'm back, I need more Ideas for this one so help me please!!!
For the grammar, Strunk and White's Elements of Style Third Edition. Every author should have one within reach when editing. Avoid the new improved version, it's not.

Ideas:
First, motive, fix in your mind what Mistress Nine wants. Is she lonely? Is she planning revenge? Does she need to be rescued? Is she in love with Hotaru and is playing cat and mouse to get her interested and aroused? Some, all or none of these?

And what does Hotaru really want? Does she want Nine as a friend, lover or companion? Does she want to destroy her enemy? Does she see Mistress Nine as an enemy, dangerous or a nuisance?

Second, method, is Mistress Nine real, a projection by an enemy, or a projection by Hotaru? Of a time she was never alone, even if her companion was a world-destroying parasite. Or some combination, or something else entirely.

Third, presentation, is this going to stay an internal monologue/dialogue, or are the others to be involved?

Examples:
Mistress Nine had fallen in love with Hotaru when they were cohabitating, and now needs to seduce her to ask for rescue.

The pressures are getting to Hotaru, and an enemy (the dream queen) has projected her enemy into Hotaru's mind to distract and weaken her. Except, this has awakened the pieces of Mistress Nine that were left after Hotaru shattered her.

Hotaru lays dying at Galaxia's feet after the treachery of the Outers, and these are illusions flashing through her mind as the last life drains from her.

All different stories, but you should know where this is going, even if you don't tell the rest of us.
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Re: Dreams of 9

Postby Té Rowan » Mon Nov 16, 2009 1:16 pm

migele wrote:anything else?

Hmm... Grammar is within bounds, as far as I can see... Maybe read a bit of Pratchett in English?
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Re: Dreams of 9

Postby DCG » Fri Nov 20, 2009 6:28 am

Where would you take this? Will Hotaru and 9-chan final meet another redhead they can fall for?
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Re: Dreams of 9

Postby migele » Thu Dec 03, 2009 9:53 am

Daniel Jess Gibson wrote:For the grammar, Strunk and White's Elements of Style Third Edition. Every author should have one within reach when editing. Avoid the new improved version, it's not.


Yet more books to order, pity they always loose my orders.


Ideas:
First, motive, fix in your mind what Mistress Nine wants. Is she lonely? Is she planning revenge? Does she need to be rescued? Is she in love with Hotaru and is playing cat and mouse to get her interested and aroused? Some, all or none of these?

And what does Hotaru really want? Does she want Nine as a friend, lover or companion? Does she want to destroy her enemy? Does she see Mistress Nine as an enemy, dangerous or a nuisance?


Actually I know what they want, and that is why the fic is the way it is.

I could spoil what I thought about this but I doubt I will.

Second, method, is Mistress Nine real, a projection by an enemy, or a projection by Hotaru? Of a time she was never alone, even if her companion was a world-destroying parasite. Or some combination, or something else entirely.


To quote AnimeAddventure: Something Else.

Third, presentation, is this going to stay an internal monologue/dialogue, or are the others to be involved?


It will stay the way it is, this only centered about these two characters.

Té Rowan wrote:Hmm... Grammar is within bounds, as far as I can see... Maybe read a bit of Pratchett in English?


Kinda have all his books, even if I haven't read them all. Yet anyway.

DCG wrote:Where would you take this? Will Hotaru and 9-chan final meet another redhead they can fall for?


Haven't planned a sequel yet, though there is the thought of crossing this with Nightmare on Elm street.

Though you kinda make me wonder what would happen if Ranma-chan and Hotaru hook up, and Mistress 9 meets Neko-chan in dreamscape. The Potential chaos is simply delicious.
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Re: Dreams of 9

Postby Deric » Sat Dec 05, 2009 3:12 am

migele wrote:Live(Life) went on, enemies came, enemies went, enemies died. But at the last enemy something happened that she couldn't forgive.
They had attacked her, they had planned on sacrificing her. That wouldn't do. It would be so easy to wide(wipe) them out, just a small flick at night and all would be over.

They would pay, not now not soon, but they will (these two should be the same. Whichever one you decide.). 9 was surprisingly encouraging. Offering hints on how it would hurt the most. But surprisingly it was 9 who calmed (Hotaru) down from destroying the house with the two (enemy) inside while she ans(and) Setsuna weren't inside. "I like our room." Somehow dieing(dying) again had bonded the two of them even more. "Make them suffer, death is swift, but embarrassment and humiliation can last for ever."
"So any idea how we are going to do this?" Hotaru asked her Shadow (non-cap? Your call.). This time they were sitting on an asteroid on one of Saturn's rings. The vacuum of space wasn't bothering them at all, w(. W)hat was bothering Hotaru was the fact that 9 was cuddled against her side. "It's cold here." the shadow had said.
Now they were brainstorming, none(. Neither) of them were pranksters or very social, so humiliating someone wasn't something either of them had ever done.
"We need help, but none(neither) of us knows anyone we could sick(sic as in sic a dog on them.) on them."
"I know Setsuna is put of(f) by them as well, m(. M)aybe the two of us should move out, but they are still our guardians." Hotaru offered.
9 gave her a small squeeze, "But they won't give you up voluntary(voluntarily), it helps them play mum, dad and cute daughter."
"Living with the weird aunt or granny that no-one talks about."
The two girls shared a giggle.
"But it is a start, and n(. N)ow shoo, you have to get up."


Sorry, There was so much correctable in there that to break it up into pieces would have - probably - made me miss one or two. I'm sorry being such a grammar nazi, but that section was taunting me.
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Re: Dreams of 9

Postby migele » Sun Feb 14, 2010 12:43 am

Deric wrote:Sorry, There was so much correctable in there that to break it up into pieces would have - probably - made me miss one or two. I'm sorry being such a grammar nazi, but that section was taunting me.


I need all the help I can get, so please look afte me.

corrected.
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Re: Dreams of 9

Postby Konsaki » Sun Feb 14, 2010 1:09 am

If you can, try and get MSWord or OpenOffice as they have spelling/grammar correction embedded in the programs. Even getting the Google Chrome browser allows you to add a Dictionary App which corrects your spelling mistakes in posts such as the one I'm writing; it's caught three different misspelled words so far. :D
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Re: Dreams of 9

Postby migele » Sun Feb 14, 2010 7:16 am

Konsaki wrote:If you can, try and get MSWord or OpenOffice as they have spelling/grammar correction embedded in the programs. Even getting the Google Chrome browser allows you to add a Dictionary App which corrects your spelling mistakes in posts such as the one I'm writing; it's caught three different misspelled words so far. :D


It's active actually, in OO setting is English British, in Firefox same.
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