Ranma Omake File: Too Many Engagements

[Innortal]

Be careful what you wish for...
Disclaimer: I don’t own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.
I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.
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“It’s been too quiet,” mumbled Ranma.
“Enjoy it, baka,” grumbled Akane, as they headed home from school.
“Not a chance,” said Ranma. “The longer it stays quiet, the worse it gets,” he said.
“He does have a point, Little Sister,” said Nabiki, getting out her odds book. “At this rate, he’ll probably end up engaged to a Kami with a demonic love interest.”
Ranma shivered, his mind using the image of a female Saffron for the love interest, with the Ghost Cat chasing after him, claiming he had stolen his love.
“It’s not that bad,” argued Akane.
Ranma blinked. “You do remember the last year we’ve had, don’t you?”
Akane glared a bit, before she sighed. “I still say you’re just being paranoid.”
“Fine,” said Ranma. “And when the next guy your own old man engaged you to for something stupid, shows up, then we’ll see whose crying about it.”
“Daddy’s not like that!”
“Chardin,” reminded Nabiki.
“Not helping, Nabiki,” growled Akane.
“Wasn’t paid to.”
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In a typical office complex in Tokyo, a single man named Taiki Kawazoe sighed as his day continued to drag on.
It wasn’t exactly a high-stress job that he had, unlike many salary-men in Japan. No, he worked with the clerical offices, filing marriage contracts for arranged marriages. It was an honorable job, and was still wide-spread in its use, even in modern Japan.
But what was starting to wear on him was one folder.
Now, for this particular office, the contracts were arranged a certain way. One copy was placed in the folder of each family. As such, each family member had a copy, in case something happened to the other families.
But this one folder ... had more than one contract.
It had dozens before Taiki had stopped counting, a good portion from just the last forty years. “This really needs to be dealt with,” he muttered. “I mean, some of these contracts are from before the Meiji Era.”
Looking through the list of procedures, he looked for any way to lighten his workload. This single file took more and more of his time every week when they updated the records systems on computer.
“Let’s see...” he muttered, as he thumbed quickly through the book.
“Ah,” he said, seeing a possibility. “I’ll just send out some letters to the respective families. They can deal with it. And since that’ll make every one of those contracts currently active, I won’t have to deal with them anymore until the families come in to correct the filing information.”
Smiling at the prospect of having less work to do, he set about printing out the correct paperwork to be mailed out.
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“You okay, Saotome?” asked Nabiki, as the pigtailed martial artist froze in place.
“You ever get the feeling like Death is smiling at you?” he asked, eyes darting around as his danger senses went haywire.
“You’re just being paranoid,” snorted Akane, as she went inside the Dojo.
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Keisuke Tachikawa blinked at the recent delivery he was supposed to make. “Wow,” he muttered.
He had just received a massive shipment of outgoing mail from one of the clerical offices in the main building. Now while that in itself wasn’t odd, the fact that half of them were meant for one recipient, the head of the Saotome clan.
“I feel sorry for that letter carrier,” he muttered. “Must be close to two hundred letters there for them.”
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Time passes, as it always does, and letters reached their destination.
And not all of them found happy homes.
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In a shrine in Juuban, a group known as the Sailor Senshi gathered. Now while this in itself wasn’t odd, the reason they were together now had nothing to deal with new threats to the world.
You see, each of them—including Mamoru—had a signed letter from the state.
“You mean,” growled out Haruka, “each of our families have us engaged to this family?”
“I want to know how Setsuna got one?” asked Ami. “I thought you didn’t have any family here.”
The Senshi of Time waved it off. “I got drunk around the 1600s. It was the last time I ever touched the stuff. I woke up in a fishing boat near China when I finally sobered up.”
“WAH!” cried their fearless leader. “I don’t wanna lose Mamo-chan!”
“You know,” said Ami, “with Chibi-Usa as your daughter, you could use her in place of either yourself or Mamoru.”
“Don’t even think of using me like that,” growled out Usa, back in the past.
“Isn’t that what royal families do?” asked Makoto.
“But just think,” said Minako, smiling, “it could be your prince in shining armor, dashing to save you like Mamoru.”
“I saw him first!” yelled out Makoto.
“Hey!”
“I am not marrying some idiot I’ve never met!” yelled Haruka.
Michiru sighed. “Our parents are making us at least meet the Saotome members to see if we can deal with this, this decade. Otherwise, we’ll have to refile.”
“I say we just drop it,” mumbled Haruka.
Hotaru sighed. “I wish the first letter I had received from Poppa wasn’t a marriage agreement.” She just wished her father would write her more often about his life, instead of equations for something powered by steam. Then again, that might be the professor he was working with. Of course, that didn’t mean she wasn’t sharing the same mental imagery as Minako or Makoto.
Well, it was different in the fact that in hers, the ‘Prince’ was still dressed in something other than food products that could be licked off.
“Calm down,” said Ami. “After all, I’m sure the Saotomes are respectable people who will listen to reason. Maybe we can get them to drop these agreements without any repercussions. After all, if these matters are not handled right, there could be serious consequences for us in the future with standing matters within Japan.”
“Right,” said Usagi. “And if not, we marry off Usa.”
“HEY!” yelled the pink haired Neo-princess, before she tackled her future mother and began to strangle her.
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At the Higurashi Shrine, a somewhat similar conversation was going on.
“YOU WHAT?” cried out the two children.
“Now children,” said Ms. Higurashi, “we just found out about this today ourselves.”
“Yes,” said Grandfather Higurashi. “It is very sad that we have allowed the records kept at this shrine to fall into such a state that we didn’t recall a marriage contract from only fifty years ago. But now that it is here, we cannot ignore it.”
“But what if they’re ugly?” cried Sota.
“Why do we have to do it?” cried Kagome. She was finally starting to get somewhere with Inuyasha, and then this had to come up. “You know they might have someone you could marry, Mother.”
“Oh, I’m sure they don’t,” waved off the now nervous mother of two.
“Now, now,” said Grandfather Higurashi. “We cannot let honor agreements such as these simply disappear. After all, what would it say about our proud shrine family if we did such?”
“Besides,” said Ms. Higurashi, “they’ve received a copy as well, so we should probably go contact them.”
Outside the walls, a certain half-demon heard them speaking, his hands clenched into fists. “So,” he growled, “some brat is going to force himself on Kagome.
“Not while I’m around,” he growled, withdrawing his sword Tessaiga. “I’ll just go ... discuss ... this with them.”
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“WHAT?” yelled out the assembled residents of Hinatasou.
“Yep,” said Haruka, her cigarette dangling from her mouth. “Your folks all called, and said to be ready for a planned marriage meeting with the Saotome clan; assuming they can fit it into their schedules.” Not likely with this bunch. I just want to know how MolMol made these sorts of arrangements.
Shinobu was frantic. “Marriage ... not Sempai ... marriage ... not Sempai...”
“Does he like bananas?” asked Su.
“Is he rich?” asked Kitsune.
“I would prefer to hear further details from Aneue about ... this debacle,” said Motoko, fingering the hilt of her sword.
“Ara,” said Mutsumi, “I hope he likes watermelons.”
“Myuh!”
Kanako just growled. I will not allow this to keep me away from Onii-chan!
“M-m-m-m-marriage a-a-a-a-a-agreement!” stuttered out Keitaro.
“I bet you enjoy this,” glared Naru.
“What did I do!” cried Keitaro.
“Calm down everyone,” said Haruka.
“Does this mean you might finally have a husband, Aunt Haruka?” asked Keitaro.
WHAM!
“I told you not to call me Aunt,” said Haruka, raising her fist away from the skull of her nephew, as he lay cratered in the floor.
Seta blinked. Someone might take Haruka away from him. “Well, I do have that wedding ring still...”
WHAM!
“Owie,” said the accident-prone archeologist.
“Better you dorks than me,” smirked Sarah.
“Oh,” said the recovered Seta, despite the large amount of blood coming from his open head wound, “I forgot to mention it. But apparently, my family made a similar contract with the Saotome clan.”
The blond girl could only blink, before she decided unconsciousness was a better option at the moment.
“Well,” said Seta, “she took that rather well.”
“Ara, this reminds me of that Liddo-kun episode where they were engaged to a flesh-eating ogre, and after trying to defeat him, the ogre ate them with rice and a bowl of pudding.”
The others could only blink. “I’d correct her,” said Keitaro, “but I haven’t watched all of the new redone episodes yet.”
Su blinked. “Does that mean a fiancé is yummy?”
Naru and Motoko quickly tackled Kitsune before she could reply.
“Marriage ... not Sempai ... marriage ... not Sempai...” continued to cry Shinobu, before she finally passed out from lack of oxygen.
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Tsuruko Aoyama could only blink. “Wow,” she said.
Her mother nodded. “To think over half of our students gave warning of potential absences due to marriage agreement discussions with the Saotome clan is quite a surprise.”
Tsuruko nodded. “I fear some of the ladies will be very disappointed. After all, how big could the family be? I doubt they have that many free sons.”
“One.”
“One?”
“One,” said Mrs. Aoyama. “It appears they have not multiplied as much as they had hoped.”
“Considering the ages of some of these contracts, I can guess not,” said Tsuruko as she went over the faxed paperwork. “I wonder who he’ll choose.”
“Motoko.”
“Motoko?”
“Is there an echo in here? Yes, we have a similar agreement with them as well.”
Tsuruko smiled a bit as she released an innocent laugh. “Well, that should help Motoko-chan out a bit. Perhaps I should visit her and coach her on the proper ways to hunt a man. Its quite obvious she doesn’t know much, judging by her pursuit of Manager-san.”
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Shivering slightly, the Aoyama swordswoman stood up. “I do believe I shall follow Urashima’s example.”
“What did the dork do?” mumbled the blond girl on the couch, slowly coming to.
“He went to build a shelter and hide,” said Haruka. “Su followed with new mecha-tamas to blow him out of said shelter while we wait for the meeting times for the Saotomes.”
“Oh,” said the girl, lying back down.
Motoko sighed. Perhaps it is time I went on a training voyage. I hear there are some good training grounds in China.
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“Wow,” smiled Atsuko Natsume, also known as Nuku Nuku. “I have a mate?”
“Fiancé,” said her maker and father, Kyusaku Natsume. “And we won’t know until we set up a meeting with the Saotome clan.”
“But Papa,” sniffed Ryunosuke, “I’m too young to be getting a fiancé!”
“For you, it would be a fiancée,” corrected Kyusaku. “Anyway, it’s just a meeting really. We don’t know if we’ll even keep the engagement.”
“WAH!” cried Atsuko, “my fiancée doesn’t want me!”
The father sighed. “Women have a fiancé Atsuko, boys have a fiancée. And we haven’t even met with them yet. I’ve been trying to get through to one of the current heads, a Nodoka Saotome, but her line’s been busy all morning.”
“And when you do?’ asked Ryunosuke, an almost fearful tone in his voice, remembering the stories from his friends in school about a pigtailed boy who was engaged to a murderous troll who always attacked him with mallets and poison.
But that was just rumors and gossip ... right?
“We set up simple meeting, see what our options are, and move on from there,” he finished before lighting up a cigarette. “After all, no need to enforce this if their children are already in happy relationships.”
“And then we become mates?” asked Nuku Nuku with excitement.
“We’ll see,” said the tired parental unit.
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On any other day, at any other time, Urd would have been laughing her tanned ass off at the situation.
“I can’t believe our family did this,” muttered Keiichi, looking at the copy of a marriage agreement in his hands.
“You’re telling me, bro,” sighed Megumi, holding her own copy. “You think Mom and Dad would have at least found out if they even have any single kids before giving these to us.”
“I’m sure everything will work out for the best,” smiled Belldandy, as a trash can exploded behind her.
“I told you he was a pervert,” growled out Skuld, holding one of her bombs in hand, ready to blast the foul boy who had hurt her older sister’s heart.
“NOOOOOOO!”
The group turned to see Marller on her knees, holding a piece of paper that looked eerily familiar, crying, before Hild.
“Now Marller, you must live up to your end of the bargain,” smiled the tanned Demon Queen. “You failed to eliminate their enemies with your curse on them, so you must pay.”
“But I don’t even remember this being part of the agreement!” yelled the crying blond demon. After all, she only placed a small directional curse on the enemies of the clan, which should have made them die out from exposure or sadness. How the hell was she supposed to know the Hibiki clan would continue and eventually be defeated by a descendant of the Saotome clan.
“It wasn’t,” said Hild. “I added it later. You don’t want to end up old and alone do you. Why, you’re already sagging in your breasts!”
“Told you,” snorted Urd.
“Stay out of this!” yelled Marller. “How would you feel if you found out you were engaged to some mortal?”
“Mortal?” asked Megumi and Keiichi at once, though the female Morisato was asking more in confusion for Maller’s reference.
“Oh don’t worry, Mara-chan,” cooed Hild, as she smiled at the Goddesses, her face giving off that distinct ‘I know something you don’t know’ appearance.
“Oh no,” paled Urd.
Hild nodded happily. “And it wasn’t me. Your own father did that all on his own ... for all three of you.”
Skuld wondered what she was talking about ... until Bampei arrived with several faxes.
Marller wanted to throw it in their faces that they were engaged as well, but stopped short when Hild turned her smile upon her.
“You’re quite lucky, Mara-chan, that polygamy is allowed on both sides. Otherwise, I’d have to kill you so my little Urd-chan could finally give me some grandbabies.”
“You have some weird friends, Bro,” said Megumi, returning to the document. “Well, maybe he’s cute.”
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***Maybe more to come

[bissek]

One thing - the Tetseiga cannot be used against a human. It was designed to protect humans, and if used against humans, or for some cause other than protecting humans, it turns into a rusty dress blade. Inu-Yasha will just have to attack Ranma with his claws.

[Tovath]

funny I really liked this line

“Calm down,” said Ami. “After all, I’m sure the Saotomes are respectable people who will listen to reason.

Ranma's in alot of troble now isn't he

[TerraBull]

I thought Bell already had one with Keichi, which would take precedence?
Is there any particular diety or demon manipulating this to happen?
*lol* Polygamy is legal on both sides.. does that mean that all of his problems is solved with a wild orgy?

[Ion-chan]

ranma that poor SOB
err DOP
Daughter of panda!

[Nekomata-sensei]

Poor Ranma...
I think he needs engagments to Nanoha's family and to Hayate as well. (the older versions show in the credits of A's)
Maybe engagements to characters from:
Haruhi (Haruhi herself and possibly Kyon/Kyon's little sister)
Azumanga Daioh ('Osaka'(LOL) and Sakaki (she likes cats, he hates them))
Ichigo Mashimaro
BLEACH (Orihime, Tatsuki, and Chihiro)
Rayearth (Hikaru, just so she can get mistaken for onna-Ranma)
Card Captor (the Li family, and possibly Sakura and Tomoyo's families as well)
Fruits Basket (the Sohma family, and guess what, since Ranma has a shape shifting curse, he/she doesn't trigger the Sohma curses...)
Futaba-kun Change (Futaba's clan, what was their name? Anyway, they have a lot in common with Ranma...)
Urusei Yatsura (Mendo clan, Ryuunosuke (who can get mistaken for otoko-Ranma...), Ataru)
And I'm sure there is more interesting possibilities...

[Innortal]

Make sure you offer the series those names came from.
This was originally an idea for the Engagement Contest, but things pulled me away and I had to put it on hold.
As for Belldandy, at the end of Season 1, the contract was lost, so they are now staying together because they both wish to.
As for Inuyasha, he almost took down a plane with a Wind Scar, trying to summon diamond shards.

[Wolfhunter]

As for Inuyasha, he almost took down a plane with a Wind Scar, trying to summon diamond shards.

I don't remember him ever doing this. Anyway, I don't think the Tetsusaiga can intentionally be used against humans.

[Innortal]

It was one of the last few episodes, before they faced Naraku. Inuyasha came to the present, as Kagome needed to do something, and her kid brother informed Inuyasha of the value of the diamond shards that the sword attack produced. It was Episode 160, the Lucky Two-timing scoundrel. He was trying to get the diamonds to come out, so he could use them to pay for Kagome's bike to be repaired.

[bissek]

The AMG anime mangled the manga to a ridiculous degree, which is strange when you consider the fact that the part of the story that they were making episodes of had been in published manga for years at that point.
In the source manga, though the contract is temporarily suspended on two occasions (Urd crashing the System Force, LoT causing Yggdrasil to go down for repairs, both of which make the contract unenforcable for a time), it was never really voided. The closest thing I can think of to the contract ending in the manga was the time Mara and Sayoko teamed up and managed to ensorcel Belldandy (the Queen Sayoko arc), followed by an order to 'go back where you belong'. Mara phrased that order thinking that it would make Bell go back to Yggdrasil, but instead it just made her go back to Keiichi's.

[WG_Writer]

it would be funny if after all the families get their letters Ranma suddenly had a seizure, and the last thing he says before it is "Panda's fault!" Not entirely Genma's fault in truth but its a scene I would love to see.

[Dumbledork]

Really nice start. I enjoed it. Chaos is always good. Interesting to add Nuku Nuku to the mix. The other series are a given, of course, but Nuku Nuku is not so common. I hope there'll be more to the story than this. Will you add more series to the mix? After all 200 letters...

[Innortal]

Plan to, would like to add Devil Hunter Yohko, but been trying to find that series for years with no luck.

[Togashi Gaijin]

Plan to, would like to add Devil Hunter Yohko, but been trying to find that series for years with no luck.

Manga or anime? The DHY anime is available through ADV - the complete series is $30 (http://www.advfilms.com/CatalogFilms_Detail.asp?ID=4141). I'm pretty sure that the Mamono Hunter Yohko manga hasn't been translated yet (and it was taken from the anime anyway, so the anime is what is "canon" in this instance).