Strained Harmony, chapter 1

[Sunshine Temple]

Well, here's an early present for the holidays.
It's something Tri and myself cooked up. We hope you enjoy it.
Strained Harmony,
Chapter 1: The Shape of Things to Come
Here you go

[Tweeker]

Well this is certainly interesting....when will more be out?

[Light02]

pretty good start I'm liking what I'm reading so far. Bravo both Sunny and Tri

[ranger5]

Wow!! Awesome job. Lots of hints, lots of unresolved issues, lots of characther growth.
Until I go back through it to be picky, all I can say is "I WANT chapter 2." (G)

[Atlan]

Just knowing who the authors were gave away about 80% of the story. Ranma stays as a girl, more-or-less becomes one mentally, some angst, and a Sailor Moon crossover.
Still, a great read.
(as a matter of personal taste, I now hold a small grudge against this fic for delaying The Return. Filthy hipocrate that I am, that wont stop me from being desprate for updates to this one.)

[Metroidvania]

Strained Harmony

I sense significance in this besides the obvious, possibly something to do with the _Silence_...

"Well, daddy is worried about the schools being joined - your dad keeps going back and forth between 'being proud that you mastered the Saotome Secret Technique' and trying to negotiate a higher price for you with Huang."

Heh...

"Could you wash my back? Aunty usually does it, but she isn't up yet,"

I like the implications of this, (No, not the dirty ones). It really emphasizes the familiarity between the two (even with the aunty qualifier) that often is downplayed or forgotten.

"Think of it as a taste of stuff I'll be teaching you later," Ranma said, forgetting that this was supposed to be only a temporary hiding place until things blew over.

With the two of you in charge of the helm, I really wonder if that's the way its actually going to turn out....

For some reason that made Ranma's brain jump a sprocket. She had not really looked at things that way. She had been so busy stopping the little punk from picking on Hotaru and dispensing her vision of justice that she had not even questioned her way of doing it. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time and Hotaru did seem to enjoy getting in some payback. Now Ranma wondered if what she did was right. "What should I have done then?" Ranma asked.

Very nice character growth right there.

Thinking only for a half second, Hotaru piped up, "We can go over to Kikuko's Salon. They would know what to do."

What does this remind me of...... ^_^ oh yes, Ranko's makeover. (shudders briefly) Moving on....
It just hit me that Hotaru refers to the other three outers as aunt and uncle, not parents....and reading further, Setsuna took her in on her own? Look forward to seeing the changes from this one....

"Ranma," Setsuna said as she handed the plates in her hands to Ranma, "You're more than a nanny to Hotaru. Yes, you are her nanny, but in the short time that you've been with her I can tell that she sees you as a friend, a mentor, and someone to look up to."

Ah, and the job employment changes....interesting.

"Yes, I gotta perm. I didn't mean to, it just happened."

This line, even with Ranma's type of speech, still seems a bit awkward, like he's saying he's going to go perm. Obviously, it fits with Ranma, but still....
Reading farther, Nabiki really put her foot in it. Like the limits on her so-called authority, and Ranma's (though a bit eloquent) description of her.

"I'm a good judge of character," Setsuna replied.

Aren't most people though, with a little foresight?

"That's okay," Setsuna said as she leaned forward and captured Ranma's eyes with her own, making it impossible for Ranma to ignore anything that was about to be said. "But remember: No one can abuse you unless you allow them to - and if you need any help, I'm more than willing to help you."

I find myself again feeling elements of past works of yours, Sunny....though maybe it's just me.

Frowning, Ranma tried to collate her feelings. "That's girl stuff," she internally objected. "I can't have fun... doing... girl's... Her thoughts trailed off as the thrill of the memories of playing at the arcade asserted themselves. "Okay, I had fun. But it really wasn't girl stuff, heck guys were out there doing the same thing I was doing last night. So it doesn't count."

Hmm...I find myself wondering this also. While not painful like most fics, I find the appearance of the girl-side traits just the tiniest bit...abrupt. Later on, the justifications are top-notch, and I know that a fair amount of time has taken place, but it doesn't shake the feeling...

"It's like having... a little sister, and it's great that the art can help her." Ranma brushed a strand of hair back behind her ear. "I'm just glad she's got someone like you to raise her. She really needs someone to love her and help her with stuff." She sighed. "Hotaru's alone the rest of her life: outsider at school, and afraid of her powers and being different."

I get the feeling the poignancy of this line is understated, especially with the earlier demonstrations of Ranma healing...
And judging from the lack of Senshi appearances, this is taking place after the Death busters, before Helios, correct?
...
...
...
The food is making me hungry.....My regards to the detail.
...
...
...
Hmm, a little bit of revelations in the end, I like the implications, And your Setsuna (my Setsuna/Ranma senses are tingl...heck, they're more than tingling), and the subtle weaving in of all this is expertly placed.
Very nice start, and I can't wait for more.
Out of curiousity, how long has this been in the works?

[Sunshine Temple]

Thanks for commenting guys. The changes in Ranma may seem fast due to all the events that happen in one chapter. Maybe if it were split into three chapters... but true, things do go that way.
Though like ALtan said... it's almost expected this say.

I sense significance in this besides the obvious, possibly something to do with the _Silence_...

Heh, maybe. Maybe something else.

I like the implications of this, (No, not the dirty ones). It really emphasizes the familiarity between the two (even with the aunty qualifier) that often is downplayed or forgotten.

Thanks, they are fun characters.

With the two of you in charge of the helm, I really wonder if that's the way its actually going to turn out....

Are we that predictable?

Very nice character growth right there.

Hotaru's not the only one growing here.

What does this remind me of...... ^_^ oh yes, Ranko's makeover. (shudders briefly) Moving on....
It just hit me that Hotaru refers to the other three outers as aunt and uncle, not parents....and reading further, Setsuna took her in on her own? Look forward to seeing the changes from this one....

We will see the effect of Hotaru's parental figures.

Ah, and the job employment changes....interesting.

It is a job with alot of responsibility. Something that Ranma did not have until recently.

This line, even with Ranma's type of speech, still seems a bit awkward, like he's saying he's going to go perm. Obviously, it fits with Ranma, but still....
Reading farther, Nabiki really put her foot in it. Like the limits on her so-called authority, and Ranma's (though a bit eloquent) description of her.

Indeed.
Hmm... the line could be read that way. Not sure, maybe it should be edited for clarity.

Aren't most people though, with a little foresight?

Oh? Well research does help things.

I find myself again feeling elements of past works of yours, Sunny....though maybe it's just me.

Yeah, do have that as a repeating theme. That and girl-Ranma.

Hmm...I find myself wondering this also. While not painful like most fics, I find the appearance of the girl-side traits just the tiniest bit...abrupt. Later on, the justifications are top-notch, and I know that a fair amount of time has taken place, but it doesn't shake the feeling...

We had assuemd that the imersion of being full time girl and haivng her job would help things. And that Ranma's girl side was not too pronounced even then. Hmm...

I get the feeling the poignancy of this line is understated, especially with the earlier demonstrations of Ranma healing...

Maybe, just maybe.

And judging from the lack of Senshi appearances, this is taking place after the Death busters, before Helios, correct?

Now that would be telling.

The food is making me hungry.....My regards to the detail.

Thanks very much. Those were some very fun scenes to write.

Hmm, a little bit of revelations in the end, I like the implications, And your Setsuna (my Setsuna/Ranma senses are tingl...heck, they're more than tingling), and the subtle weaving in of all this is expertly placed.

Thank you. Glad that that worked well.

Very nice start, and I can't wait for more.

Thanks for the great comments.
Out of curiousity, how long has this been in the works?[/quote]
Hmm... Tri and I first started swapping scenes on July 13, 2006. I had come up with the idea before then and in talking with Tri we had worked out the details and that's that.

[Jadedmagus]

We will see the effect of Hotaru's parental figures.

Hmm, if I were to guess, I would say that this will come into play in a couple of chapters. As in Ranma beginning to freak out over becoming a girl inside and out, and in come "Uncle" Haruka and Aunt Michiru to demonstrate/explain to Ranma that one can be a girl, and still like girls in a romantic way.
Of course I could be totally wrong in that guess. Either way the fic looks good enough to deflect my ire that the next Return chapter was put off (in other words, it was damn awesome).

[crystlshake]

"That may seem true," Setsuna said smoothly. "But the problems that I have been encountering with professional help is that they either don't want to deal with someone as frail as Hotaru, or they don't understand and fear Hotaru's - gift."

encountering with professional help are

"Whatta mean wrong?" Ranma asked perplexed

Whata ya ?

Overall the uniform a blend of sophisticated and traditional styles that reflected the tastes of her employer

the uniform was a blend
I laugh that Ranma's hair has survived so many deadly situations only to be brought low by a wad of missplaced gum.
The change in conversational slips to a smoother speach with fewer of them was a cool touch with its gradual change through the chapter.

. "The horror of being trapped in a relationship to an abusive, self-centered, egoistical lout."

relationship with
I got a little nervous when Ranma was introduced to Kimiko's parents and that the father might have been one of the investigators.

Looking at the time on the faceplate, Ranma smile.

smiled

They make a cute couple. Even if Haruka is a bit too pretty boy for my tastes."

I like the ambiguousness of this statement as you cant quite tell if she knows Haruka's gender or how that is influencing her opinion here.
I have to agree with MetV. I was deffinitely getting hungry while reading this. Ill have to hit up the bakery tomorrow if I have time.

"Most anyone would consider what Nabiki is doing evil."

Definitely amoral. And borderline evil at best in regard to the slave trade aspect. Under alighnment Id definitely peg her there based on her behavior. Though which aspect of it im unsure on probably neutral id guess.
Wow, almost 16,000 words of rereadable goodness (cause once wasnt enough ). The two subplots Im most looking forward to are how Hotaru will react when the truth about Ranma is revealed (im guessin not quite as bad as he expects but itll probably be a bit of a strain on the relationship depending on how its presented to her, mostly due to embarassement), and if him telling Akane about how he feels (not going back) and if the situation allows if she'll give up some info on him out of hurt spite.
The arcade scene and the attempted date from the guy at school really stood out for marking Ranma as a teenaged student. Along with displaying some other aspects of his character growth on a peer interaction level. The internal lines about why she cant hurt her friends were also nice for that.

[Sunshine Temple]

Bravo. Thanks for the corrections. Always nice to clean up a few last errors. I've put the corrections in my copy and will update the online copy soon (ff.net is a real pain among other things).

I laugh that Ranma's hair has survived so many deadly situations only to be brought low by a wad of missplaced gum.

Irony is quite fun.

The change in conversational slips to a smoother speach with fewer of them was a cool touch with its gradual change through the chapter.

Thanks for noticing that.

I got a little nervous when Ranma was introduced to Kimiko's parents and that the father might have been one of the investigators.

Hmmm

They make a cute couple. Even if Haruka is a bit too pretty boy for my tastes."

I like the ambiguousness of this statement as you cant quite tell if she knows Haruka's gender or how that is influencing her opinion here.

And if Ranma was having an opinion about her tastes, or was just dismissing pretty boys?

I have to agree with MetV. I was deffinitely getting hungry while reading this. Ill have to hit up the bakery tomorrow if I have time.

Very good. Those were really cute scenes to write up.

Definitely amoral. And borderline evil at best in regard to the slave trade aspect. Under alighnment Id definitely peg her there based on her behavior. Though which aspect of it im unsure on probably neutral id guess.

Nabiki is an oprotunist. She saw the chance and took it. This is close to the circumstances of the cannon even this is based on.

Wow, almost 16,000 words of rereadable goodness (cause once wasnt enough ). The two subplots Im most looking forward to are how Hotaru will react when the truth about Ranma is revealed (im guessin not quite as bad as he expects but itll probably be a bit of a strain on the relationship depending on how its presented to her, mostly due to embarassement), and if him telling Akane about how he feels (not going back) and if the situation allows if she'll give up some info on him out of hurt spite.

I think you mistyped there. IT's over 46,000 words long ;p
Interesting veiw on the subplots

The arcade scene and the attempted date from the guy at school really stood out for marking Ranma as a teenaged student. Along with displaying some other aspects of his character growth on a peer interaction level. The internal lines about why she cant hurt her friends were also nice for that.

Yeah, alot of fics don't really have Ranma as a teenager in school. It happens, but was something this story could explore a bit. Especailly with her friends.

[crystlshake]

Yeah Id noticed a few of them the first time through but couldnt tear myself away to open up a text file to keep track of them. Second or third times the charm as they say (since ill probably read it again).

And if Ranma was having an opinion about her tastes, or was just dismissing pretty boys?

Right because Ranma's opinion on Haruka's atractiveness might be the same regardless of knowing Haruka's gender. Or not. Its kind of an open field there and leaves a possible opportunity for suprise. Probably some bath house incident or some such.

I think you mistyped there. IT's over 46,000 words long ;p

Yeah, I checked the word count out of couriosity when I dumped it into word to help find the errors Id noticed before. Probably got the count from the second document that i had to split it into cause the spellchecker would only go around half/ or 3/4 of the way before it refused to look for more when all the names were coming up as errors.

[Sunshine Temple]

Yeah Id noticed a few of them the first time through but couldnt tear myself away to open up a text file to keep track of them. Second or third times the charm as they say (since ill probably read it again).

Thanks for picking up on them.

Right because Ranma's opinion on Haruka's atractiveness might be the same regardless of knowing Haruka's gender. Or not. Its kind of an open field there and leaves a possible opportunity for suprise. Probably some bath house incident or some such.

Yeah, gender follies are common in Ranma 1/2.
And she can't stay in the dark forever

Yeah, I checked the word count out of couriosity when I dumped it into word to help find the errors Id noticed before. Probably got the count from the second document that i had to split it into cause the spellchecker would only go around half/ or 3/4 of the way before it refused to look for more when all the names were coming up as errors.

Ahh.. that explains it.

[Anime_Freak317]

Maybe I'm a bit perverted, but I noticed that you skipped a major part (or minor in some cases) where there was no reference to Ranma's first few times in the locker room. Your indication shows that it is summer in the beginning, then noting that it's a few months down the road, making it fall and time for uniform changes. I can see how after so long one begins to adapt to unusual circumstances (in Ranma's case), and how ones outlook on life can change...especially with re-enforced positive feedback.
I really liked this story and look forward to the next chapter.

[Dumbledork]

WOW! PERFECT! I simply love your ideas. Ranma as a nanny. I've never read such a fic before. But I hope you'll continue writing this as there are still too many questions left to be answered and, after all, there already too many unfinished masterpieces out there. No need to add another one to the list. These kind of stories where Ranma tries to solve the problems in his life are my favourites. It's also nice to see a Sailor Moon crossover without any senshi business (although I'm pretty sure that will change in the next chapters). I can alsosee that Ranma is slowly falling for Setsuna (my favourite pairing in Ranma/SM crossover where Setsuna is one of the good guys).
Of course, with two of the most talented fanfic writers (and both are definitely in my top 10 writers list) working together the only result could have been a masterpiece. I just hope that Trimatter will still continue his other stories and I'm still waiting for a sequel to Final Approach Ranma (I read it at least 5 times) although there never will be any.

[Metroidvania]

We had assuemd that the imersion of being full time girl and haivng her job would help things. And that Ranma's girl side was not too pronounced even then. Hmm...

I can see how after so long one begins to adapt to unusual circumstances (in Ranma's case), and how ones outlook on life can change...especially with re-enforced positive feedback.

Yes, I suppose this makes sense, conditioning in the opposite direction of canon....

Are we that predictable?

Hmm....in a fashion, perhaps? Not absolutes, but certain things are just the traits of certain authors.

It is a job with alot of responsibility. Something that Ranma did not have until recently.

Yes, but something just hit me. Ranma, who has been never really all that good with a lot of responsibility, save for some _really_ important times, adapts quite quickly to the new role....