Daimakaicho: Ranma Complete Chapters Discussion

[Tuisto]

I won't be posting anymore broken chapters, so to clean this up a bit I hope none of you mind a new thread just for this story, as I complete chapters I'll post them only in this single thread to keep things simple.
Disclaimer on page 1.
Authors notes:
To those souls out there that were kind in leaving a nice review; I thank you.
To those souls out there, that were not-so-nice in leaving a review… I would say “Go to hell” and move on, but considering the type of fiction we’re all in, well… let’s just say it seems a moot point either way.
Also I'm unofficially making the song “Devil Woman” by Cliff Richards the song of this fic. It can be found on youtube. (Like what can’t?)
I’d further like to thank “deathgeonous” of “The Rebirth of the Daimakaicho” of “The Merger” rewrite fame, for volunteering to be the first beta reader of this fiction, and his diligent testing to make certain it won’t cause insomnia, drowsiness, unexpected multiplanular extra-dimensional travel, seizures or mass-hysteria. If you experience any of these symptoms, please discontinue use of “Daimakaicho Ranma” immediately…
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Daimakaicho Ranma: to be titled…
Chapter 3.
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With a drowsy groan Ranma blinked her eyes open, clearing away the sleepiness that had gathered there. Blinking her eyes several more times Ranma began to sit up propping herself upon her elbows, the first thing she noticed in her half lidded and half awake stupor was that she was clean, smelling of lilac, her pigtail unbound letting her red locks fall messily down her back, and in a comfortable set of plain purple pajamas in a bed, an actual honest-to-goodness bed and not a futon as she was accustomed to. For several moments there is a disconnect in Ranma's mind of her current situation as the last memories she had were… unpleasant as she was crying in a lady’s arms. Then Ranma began to look around her current surroundings in earnest first noticing that the bed she was in was quite possibly the largest down filled mattress, violet canopy bed she'd ever seen in her life. Even larger than the ones that were in the Picolette Chardin mansion. Then expanding her gaze outward into the large room she noticed how very… medieval the things were. As it was a large room, all lit by torches on the walls and in plain stone of varying shades mostly of gray and a light gray stone floor polished to a mirror shine from centuries of use with only randomly placed animal fur rugs as a flourish. On the far wall there was a very expansive fireplace with a roaring fire in its hearth forcing back the slight chill that seems to permeate the room, and above the mantel of the fireplace there was a large expansive tapestry. Ranma wasn't quite certain, but it seemed to be a courtly love scene, on one side of it a warrior man with an eye patch over a single eye was on a single knee, bowing before a tall and tanned white-haired woman bestowing before her on a pillow a purple and gold crowning headpiece. In the middle of the tapestry there was a scene with one side of it dominated by black winged creatures of darkness in battle with white winged creatures of light, and on each side of this panel there were the faces in profile of the white-haired woman and the eye patched warrior man. And on the far right side of the tapestry was a scene of the warrior man with an eye patch, his back turned to the white-haired woman, and with a white-haired child in his grasp walking away from the woman. Ranma could only think how very sad this scene in total was.
Deciding she had spent enough time in bed gawking around the room she slowly pulled the covers away from herself and stiffly rolled out of bed, her feet bare as they were, when they hit the cold stone floor sent a shiver up her body. With another shiver and a groan, she began to stretch noting that she must have been asleep for a very long time if the sore stiffness she was feeling was any indication. Then deciding that pajamas weren't quite enough for the cool that seemed to be in the room she spotted a large wardrobe dresser; opening it, she frowned as most of the things inside were obviously for a small young girl in shades of violet, pink and black with lots of lace, though there was a plain light violet robe that she decided would work as she loosely slung it over her shoulders and tied the belt loosely. Then as she walked over to the large bank of the gothically arched windows to possibly see the time by the light, and gasped. There when she looked out through the distorted glass, the faint red light that spread along the entire horizon and that could either be early morning or late evening that seemed to span across the entire horizon was not what was drawing her attention, as the city far below was a far more perplexing and awe inspiring sight.
First rubbing her eyes with her hands, and then rubbing the glass free of fog to make sure she was seeing correctly, she can only gape at what she saw as she noted that she must have been up very high up and that as far as the eye can see was ice. Everything had the grayish blue cast of it being ice, a stark contrast to the red light from the sky. Some of the buildings closest to wherever she was were massive towering spires of ice like gleaming bluish-white skyscrapers pointing upwards jaggedly, the light from beyond the horizon making them appear like massive knives edged in flowing blood. And even broadening out her gaze she noted that all the smaller buildings seem to be of the same construction as though water had been poured from the sky itself and frozen unevenly and jaggedly into place in the forms of everything from shops to simple homes even to the lampposts themselves.
Slowly, she pulled her face back from the now fogged glass and pulled her hands away from the stinging cold it provided to her palms and muttered in a dully amused voice "Heh, Somehow I expected Hell to be hotter…"
It was then and at that moment, her stomach grumbled loudly, which surprised her greatly as she didn't think that the… well… dead, got hungry.
Her mind made up to go in the search of food; she walked across the room, her bare feet on the cold stone floor, sending her a shiver with each step to the large oak door of the room. As she neared the door though and as she was about to reach for the handle, the door swung open for her. Surprised by this she popped just her head out of the now open doorway she saw that it was a strait corridor, much like the room of gray stone and torches on the walls, her stomach growled again and with a glance to left, and glanced at the right to see if anyone was near as she stepped out into the corridor to then have the door to the room behind her close abruptly, the small name plate with a caricature of a smiling super-deformed white-haired girl holding two fingers in a ‘Peace’ sign and labeled “Urd” clicking slightly from the sudden movement.
"Well, I guess there’s no goin’ back now…" Ranma mused lamely to herself, then went on looking in both directions the corridor went "…Now which way should I go?…"
After several moments of deep thought, she said "In situations like this there’s only one thing to do…" then a look of deep concentration crossed her face and she held up a palm of each of her hands out in each direction and said "Eeny meeny, miney moe, catch a tiger…" this went on for several minutes, then said victoriously pointing to her right "… and the way is MOE!"

As she walked down the dimly lit corridors, Ranma noted how creepy it was, as open doors would close and lock before she got to them, or how closed doors would open letting her pass… almost like she was being guided to a specific place. After what seemed like hours, but was probably only minutes, an absolutely heavenly aroma found its way to Ranma’s nose, making her stomach grumble. At this wonderful prospect, she quickened her pace; rounding a corner there was a light at the end of the tunnel and she rushed headlong into the light.
Blinking rapidly to clear the spots out of her eyes, she noticed that the room was just an ordinary kitchen with clean white tile; stainless steel appliances scattered about, and very brightly lit as opposed to the corridors. Then her gaze spotted the source of the wonderful smells as there was a large wood table loaded with all her favorites of salted fish, fried egg omelets with ham, miso soup, and even orange juice.
Looking up to see who was setting the table, she could only gape at the remarkably beautiful mature white-haired woman in a plain simple pink dress and clean frilly laced apron smiling softly at her, who then said “Hello Ranma, care for a late breakfast?”
Ranma blinked at how much simple ‘niceness’ she put into her words as Ranma then said “Uhh, sure… I guess…” this was punctuated by a rumble from her belly making her blush from embarrassment, though the lady only giggled softly. Ranma then continued “Yeah… I guess I’m pretty hungry… but lady if you don’t mind my askin’… who are you and where am I anyways?”
Still smiling softly the white-haired lady says with a hand on her cheek “Oh, how rude of me for not introducing myself…” she paused “…my name is Hild…” thunder rolled and a strike of purple lightning flared in the window she was standing in front of “… and you, Ranma are a guest in my Royal Palace in Niffelheim, in the plane of existence known as Hell…” still smiling softly seeing Ranma backing away “… calm yourself Ranma, you’re safe here, I want to try and help you if you’ll let me.”

Reassured by this, but still wary, Ranma asks in a distrustful tone “Why would you want ta’ help me? What’s in it for you?”
The white-haired lady’s smile falters as she askes Ranma in a hurt voice “Do I need a reason? Is it so wrong for Me to want to help?...” seeing the still unsure face of Ranma she goes on “… alright Ranma, I won’t lie, not to you, there might be something, but I won’t force you, and you can always say no…” Ranma’s blinks in surprise of this and thinks ‘She’s not gonna’ force me? I gotta’ choice in what ever she wants? Wow that’s different…’ and Hild then continues “… but first, how about having your breakfast before it gets cold?...” she paused to beam a smile at Ranma and said in a chirping voice “… I cooked it all myself!”
Ranma at first look dubiously at the proffered feast, and then past experience kicks in and she says in a doubtful tone “It ain’t poisoned is it?”
Hild’s eyes cross at this, she than raises the back of her hand to her forehead as crocodile tears started streaming down her cheeks as she said over dramatically “Oh, how horrible! That after slaving away all morning over a hot stove to prepare a veritable feast, my skill and motivations would be doubted and slandered so! And in my own home no less! Oh Ranma you break a woman’s poor heart!”
To this display Ranma “Gak’s!” waving her arms defensively she shouts “I’m sorry! Really I didn’t mean it! I’m sure it’s delicious!” Hild after hearing this does an emotional 180, once again beaming a smile at Ranma as she took a seat at the table, with one more glance at the brightly smiling Hild, Ranma picked up a set of chop-sticks and took a tentative bite of omelet, then another, then was inhaling the divinely delicious food, uncaring of Hild smiling softly now and thinking ‘She’s so much like Urd…’
- - - - - -
Nabiki was worried as she stared at the grey skies threatening rain, out of the 3rd floor window of the hotel suite the police had arranged for all the “witnesses” to stay in over the night, on the reason to “preserve the scene”. In fact Nabiki could just barely make out the top of the roof of their house… and all the mini-satellites sticking up from the mobile news trucks of the reporters trying to get “The Big Scoop”.
“Vultures…” Nabiki said quietly to herself, then sighed; thinking ‘…but who knew so many people knew Ranma? Nabiki then turns away from the depressing skies, to the depressing atmosphere of the room as she looks at her family, the Saotome’s, Ryoga, Ukyo and Happosai all sitting around the dining table, all starring blankly with deep bags under their eyes. ‘Probably nightmares…’ she thought, then sighed and continued rubbing at her eyes and suppressing a yawn ‘…if they got any sleep that is…’
Glancing around the room again Nabiki couldn’t help but to frown as she looked at her sister, Akane who had barely spoken since… IT… happened as she was leaning into Ryoga, and Ryoga having only the slightest barely perceptible grin… of course Nabki was Very observant. Her father Soun, wasn’t even crying, not a drop she’s seen since… All he was doing now was absently stroking his mustache, though that might’ve just been him trying to get the crumbs and syrup from the delivered breakfast of waffles out of it.
As it had been a delivered meal, Kasumi had nothing to do… but every few minutes she’d take the plate of uneaten waffles and reheat them in the microwave at the mini-bar. ‘She won’t be satisfied till they’re glowing…’ Nabiki thought with a sarcasm she wasn’t really feeling. Ukyo, now leaning away from the table was reading a manga from the hotels shop, with not a care in the world. And the Saotome’s… Nabiki couldn’t help but to think of how… utterly defeated Genma looked with his shoulders slumped and absently poking a waffle piece around his plate with a single chop-stick. And Nodoka… Nabiki wondered where that lady got her composure from, as she was certain that if HER child had been killed the “Ice Queen” would be a blubbering nervous wreck of flowing tears… but no, not Nodoka just sitting there sans katana as it was taken by the police, and calmly watching the morning TV news as she sipped tea.
Then there was Happosai, his unlit pipe dangling from his mouth with an expression of deep concentration and a scowl at the Saotome’s crossed his wrinkled face, in fact Nabiki could almost swear his old eyes were glowing slightly… ‘No it must be a trick of the light…’ Nabiki’s mind rationalized as something else occurred to her from last night… ‘Something the lecher said about Free Will…?’ taking another glace around the room Nabiki decided to just ask the pervert.
“Hey old-letch, I’ve a question for you…” Nabiki said breaking the macabre silence and getting Happosai’s attention as he jerked in surprise to look up at her from across the table.
“Yes Nabiki-chan, what is it?” Happi said back in a tired kindly-grandfatherly voice.
“Well… it’s something you said to Ranma yesterday…” she paused as she felt all the eyes in the room fall upon her “… you said something like you wouldn’t fight ‘cause of Free Will…” she paused again to hold back a shiver as his old eyes bored into hers “… what’d you mean by that exactly…?” pause “…if you don’t mind my asking…” she finished politely somber.
Happosai just looks at her for a moment, then dips his head rubbing tiredly at his eyes, and with a sigh he says “It’s very complicated… oh so very complicated…” he pauses to sigh again and look up “… but I won’t… no can’t lie now… the time for this charade is over now I guess...”
Well aware of all the gazes now on him, he only addressed Nabiki as he said “The maintenance of Mortal Free Will is Kami-Sama’s highest law. The choices and consequences humans’ make in shaping their lives and the lives of those around them must have as little influence from the gods and spirits as possible.”
“Well that’s interesting and all but I don’t see what that has to do with anything here.” Nabiki said then cringed as Happi snapped out “You will if you don’t interrupt me again!...” calming himself, he went on “…You see Nabiki all those years ago when Genma and Soun sealed Happosai away in that cave… they succeeded…” He looked around at all the confused faces he elaborated “… you see that low some little cave is actually the grave of Happosai, where he died on the fourth day of his imprisonment, badly injured from the concussive blast.”
With eyes narrowed at this, Soun asks hotly “If you’re not Master Happosai, then who are you!”
To this Happi just shoots Soun a angered look and says “Soun, Shut up and let me finish!...” with Soun sufficiently cowed, he went on “As I was saying that cave is where Happosai died, BUT before he died he made a plea to the patron god of martial arts, Futsunushi no Mikoto. What struck Futsunushi was that Happosai didn’t beg for his life, but rather begged for a worthy heir to the school of martial arts he founded. Impressed that such a greedy manipulative and selfish man in life, like Happosai would make such a selfless plea for the good of the school of Anything Goes martial arts near death, Futsunushi smiled upon him and his request as he passed on… and so Futsunushi-Sama sent me to grant his dying wish…”
“If you’re not Happosai then who…” Nabiki sputtered out as a disk of golden light formed over ‘Happosai’ and slowly descended, then it was gone, and sitting in the seat of the faux-Happosai was now a tall grey-haired bishonen man with soft blue eyes, and a vertical blue slash under each eye on his cheeks, wearing a very simple grey hakama.
Smiling thinly to the very shocked and mouths agape persons in the room he said “Allow me to formally introduce myself…” now standing so he could bow “… I am Lizasa Lenaoko, founder of the Tenshin Shoden Katori Shinto Ryu, and Second Class, limited license Spirit of Martial Arts Teaching.”
To say all the mortal beings in the room were shocked would be a magnificent understatement. The man they knew as Happosai… wasn’t Happosai, and that the real Happosai was in fact long dead? And to top that this man was in fact THE Lizasa Lenaoko?! And to top that, he was sent by Futsunushi no Mikoto Sama himself!?
For several moments the room was silent until Kasumi of all people cleared her throat and asked politely “Lizasa-Hanshi-Dono, Why? Why pose as grandfather Happosai if all you had to do was find a worthy heir, or even wait 10 years to do it?”
The spirit revealed as Lizasa Lenaoko smiled lightly as he said “Well, I figured the best way to teach his school… was to become him… and as for why I waited, well I thought it best to keep the school in the families… so I waited until one of the children of either the Saotome or the Tendo was old enough.” As the people in the room heard this, they couldn’t help but to think that it Did make sense.
Ukyo had a tickling in her mind at this, so speaking for the first time she said in a quiet tone “So, let me guess. Ranma was who you were training, right? He’s dead… so why are you still here Lizasa-Dono?”
Lizasa leans back into his chair, closing his eyes and smiling wistfully he says “Ah yes, very astute Ukyo-chan. Out of both houses Saotome and Tendo, Ranma was the only one with the physical skills, mindset and indomitable will to be a truly worthy heir. As for why I’m still here?... I still have to find an heir… though I think I’ll have to search long and hard now to find one suitable…” he pauses “… that is if Ranma isn’t willing or able.”
Ukyo then looks bewildered as she says “But Ranma’s dead… how could he be the heir?”
Lizasa just sighs deeply, and quite suddenly his eyes open in a flash as they and his blue slashes are glowing faintly. As the glow fades away he says “I’m not entirely certain. But I just have a feeling..." he pauses and shoots a glare at Nodoka, and then saying in a heated voice "…Though for some reason I'm not able to contact Yggdrassil to find out what happened yesterday... so Nodoka, care to inform us all as to what we saw? I do know the work of demons after all…" he finishes with a glare at the now fidgeting Nodoka.
For several moments all eyes were on the fidgeting Nodoka her worried facial expression, telling them that it must be something very bad to get her worked up so much. She then takes say deep calming breath settling her nerves as she says quietly. "I sold to my child's soul to a devil for wish..."
Lizasa knew he would regret it, but this mystery needed an answer, so probing further, He asked Nodoka "What kind of wish? And what kind of devil, was he? "
Nodoka with downcast eyes, reaches into her kimonos Obi pocket and withdraws a small back scroll and hands it over to Lizasa. After several moments of reading, Lizasa groans, a few moments later, Nabiki asks “Wha… what does it say?” He just looks at her for a moment before setting the scroll open down on the table and reading from it he said "I Nodoka Saotome, wish for my son, Ranma Saotome to be drawn to, and attracted to lovely young women where ever he goes in life!"
Nabiki then blinks at that turns to look at the shaken Nodoka turns to look at, Lazasa and blinks again and says in a voice laden with incredulity "That's got to be the vaguest and stupidest contract I've ever heard of!"
Nodding his head in agreement, Lizasa says "Quite so… quite so indeed. Without being able to check Yggdrassil and Ranma's file their within, I can't say for certain, but I’d even wager that all of the fiancées are a result of this..." he then gets a perplexed look on his face, tilting his head, he says more to himself "... the vagueness, it's probably how he also got his Jusenkyo curse…" he paused to slam his fist into his palm "…of course! The Nyannichuan has a spirit of a young girl in it! It would have been impossible for Ranma to fall in any other spring!" When all attention, now firmly on the spirit Lazasa, he turns to look at the now pale and wide eyed Nodoka as a sinking suspicion forms in his belly as he asks. "Nodoka, can you describe this Th’rignal daemon, and everything you know about him."
Shaken to her core by the knowledge that her badly worded wish caused her child's curse, Nodoka says in a voice almost trembling with emotion "He… he came to me in the night… he was so… soft and gentle… then he…" she paused as a blush forming on her cheeks, even though she was shaking "… he ravaged me… he was so manly for me… he had so many “you knows” as they caressed me… god I was so lonely…” she paused again to look at the ashen faced and wide eyed Genma through her tears “…you two had been gone for almost 4 years… I don’t know what came over me, but as he was leaving me… leaving me like you did in the night…” pause as she becomes hysterical “I Just Wanted Ranma to be happy! I begged the devil in my bed for a way for Ranma to be happy! Was that so wrong!? So I begged Th’rignal for a way for Ranma to be happy through a wish!..” she pauses again, not hiccupping through her tears “…but he asked for payment… my soul… I was afraid… I couldn’t do it… so he suggested Ranma’s soul… and I… and I…” she throws her head back as she screams hysterically “I Sold my Babies Soul to a Devil, And Now He’s Dead and in Hell!” and with that she collapsed with her face in her hands weeping.
After this display there is a shocked silence in the room, only broken by Nodoka’s soft muffled cries. Then Lizasa stands to walk to the mini-fridge, and to bypass the credit-card reader on the door, his had become immaterial and passes through the door, then pulls back with a beer. He then chugs the entire can. He repeats this pulling can after can out and drinking the over-priced beer down as fast as he can until the small refrigerator is empty of alcohol. Seating himself once again at the table, he closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose as he slurs out “Shikima daemon… it would be a shikima wouldn’t it?”
“Is one of these Shikim bad?” Nabiki ventured to the rapidly inebriated spirit.
Lazasa just “Hmm’s” at first, then says “Well it would depend on your idea of bad I guess… you see… they’re lovers not fighters…” he chuckles at that like it’s a witty joke, though seeing the looks of non-comprehension he elaborates “… what I mean is they as fighters they’re rather weak individually… but imagine a handsome seductive man, but with anywhere from 5 to 30, long, sometimes 10 feet long, prehensile male organs on their bodies. Those are the source and status of their powers as they rape women…” all the women in the room shudder at this, though she may still just be crying. “So Nabiki, yes I’d say a Shikima is bad.”
Ryoga who had been paying rapt attention all this decided to speak up “So Lezasa-dono… Ranma’s dead?” Lazasa nods yes “And Ranma’s a girl in hell?” again Lazasa just nods yes. “And she’s being raped by a monster in hell?” he says almost giddily as Lazasa nods yes again. Leaning back in his chair Ryoga fights down a grin as he begins to rub Akane’s shoulder as he says with obviously false sincerity “How Tragic…”
For several moments silence once again reigned in the room until Nodoka spoke in a frightened and tired voice “Lezasa-Dono, what now? Are you going to punish us for what we’ve done?” Genma, Ukyo, and Ryoga all flinch then plae at the though of a Spirit sent from a Kami punishing them. Thus they are surprised when Lezasa just chuckles out “No… nothing like that Nodoka, I’m not a vengeful spirit. Do I think what you all have done is a horrendous crime? Certainly…” more people in the room pale “… but I can not take any vengeance that is after all only for Ranma as she was the one wronged in this travesty.”
Hearing this Ryoga nearly spasms as he shouts across the table “But Ranma’s in hell! You said so yourself! How could she do anything to us now!?”
Wiping the sprayed spittle from his face Lazasa sighs and says “I don’t know… I honestly don’t… but that’s what I’m worried about…”
As everyone is digesting this, Lazasa’s marks flash for a second, then he says “We have guests!” and with that there is a puff of white smoke, and Lazasa is once again the little troll Happosai, just as there is a knocking on the hotel suits door…
- - - - - -
With eyes closed and small towers of dirty dishes flanking her, Ranma pats her slightly distended stomach gently, and with a contented sigh, picking her teeth with a chopstick she said brightly “Thanks Mom, that was great!”
Hearing a soft happy sigh, Ranma opens her eyes, and instead of the older redheaded woman she was used to seeing, she sees an older, but breath-takingly beautiful white-haired woman with red star-like tattoos on her forehead and cheeks, smiling softly at her from across the table. Then Ranma remembers, and says sheepishly scratching at the back f her head “Sorry… I guess I forgot…” she then pauses as her features harden and her teeth begin to grind and she continues through clenched teeth“… and I nearly forgot that… that… grrr.”
Still smiling at Ranma, Hild says reassuringly “It’s okay Ranma, really, its okay, I don’t mind, in fact it was kind of sweet of you in an unthinking way.”
Uncertain if she was complimented or insulted Ranma just says back lamely “Uh, thanks I guess…” she then looks around some, and noticed how… ordinary, everything was, she turned back to Hild to ask “So I’m dead, and this is hell… but you burned that contract… so why am I still here and not heaven or where ever?”
Hearing the hidden plea in Ranma’s voice, Hild smiles a little sadly at her as she says “Well, firstly, you’re right, you’re dead. Then technically your in Hellheim Palace in the demon city of Niffelheim…” she pauses to drum her fingernails on the table “… as for why you’re still here… it’s complicated, but it boils down to a Taint.”
Ranma’s eyes cross in confusion as she asks “What do ya’ mean by that?”
Hild just sighs as she says “Well… while there are many ways to get into heaven, good virtuous life, morality, being good to others, the list goes on. Kami-Sama has a… what you might consider a “Policy of Absolutes”. That being to get into Heaven you need to be absolutely good in as many aspects possible. And well… when you’re tainted you… don’t.”

Hearing this Ranma shouts almost angrily “What do ya’ mean, by Tained! I ain’t got none of this taint!”
“Actually you do kiddo.” Hild said back casually, to which Ranma snapped “And how do you know for sure?!”
Smiling again Hild says “How about I show you? And not that my kitchen isn’t nice… but I’d think a more comfortable environment is in order don’t you?”
Blinking at that, Ranma mumbles out “Yeah I guess…” and just as she finishes Hild snapped her fingers, Ranma’s vision of the kitchen blurs as a slight sense of vertigo washes over her… then her senses snap back, and she can’t help but to gape at the… cavernous would be the best way to describe it, classic comfortably lit, wood paneled library. A room with many large leather chairs, small tables and lined with bookshelf’s and ladders to reach the higher volumes… and then Ranma looked up… and up… and up, and the walls just kept going with no end in sight.
Leaning up beside Ranma from behind, Hild says “Impressive isn’t it? All the knowledge of existence…” of course this startled Ranma as she jumped and whirled around to face Hild, with her hand over her heart as she shouts “Hey don’t do that, you’ll give me a heart attack!” Seeing Hild giggling, Ranma just holds her hand over her heart until she realizes something… no heartbeat. To this Ranma just mumbles out “Oh, right… death…” pause “… so about this taint you say I got?”
Taking a seat in a nearby leather arm back chair, and as another was walking over to sit opposite, Hild motioned Ranma to sit.
As Ranma wearily took the proffered seat after it stopped moving on its own, Hild said “ You see Ranma, I know why you didn’t go to heaven when I destroyed that contract… and that is as I’ve established Taint. Now in your case the demon contract is a part of it, even though it’s no longer relevant, it’s left its mark. The other bit of the Taint is emotional…” Ranma is now burning her gaze into Hild “… Tell me Ranma, how do you feel about Ryoga?”
“I don’t wanna’ talk about him…” Ranam says through gritted teeth.
Hild presses on “How do you feel about your father?...” Ranma’s teeth grind “…Nabiki maybe?...” Ranma’s eyes narrow “…How about Ukyo or Cologne?...” Ranma begin to shake “…or how do you feel about your Mother Nodoka?...” to this Ranma growls deep in her throat, then Hild pulls out the big guns “Or how do you feel about Th’rignal for that matter?”
Durring all of this the pressure in Ranma is building, and then she just snaps suddenly standing up “I Hate Them! I hate them all! I wanna’ make ‘em pay for what they did to me! Never any choices! I wanna’ make em’ all know the pain they put me through is what I think! Damn ‘em all for all I care!...” then her shoulders slump as she slides back into her seat, and in a depressed tone she continues “… but I can’t do nothin’ like that now… cause I’m dead and they’re not… and Th’rignal… I’m like wet tissue paper compared to him…”
Nodding her head slightly Hild says; “And that’s the taint, feelings of betrayal, anger and fear, lust for revenge, and bitterness…” Hild is then interrupted as the libraries door opens with a squeak as a tall blond woman with red slashes on her forehead and cheeks in a black leather ensemble timidly stepped into the room, nervously sweating, she coughs then says politely “Um… Hild-Sama… I was wondering about what you wanted to do back at the temple with Belldandy?”
Hild smiles at Mara as she says in a kawai voice “Oh, I think you can handle that by yourself Ma-chan, I trust you to succeed.”
Emboldened by Hilds words Mara says “Of course I, Mara deamon first class unlimited can do it! Thank you Hild-sama! I shall not fail you!” And she just stands there until Hild says in her kawai voice wavering her fingers “Bye-bye Ma-chan!” Mara just blinked at this, then her eyes widen as she turns to run from the room as quickly as possible.
Blinking at the display and slightly calmer; Ranma askes Hild “What just happened?”
“Oh, just a side project I’ve had to corrupt a goddess.” Hild says back casually, to which Ranma can only ask “Why?”
To this Hild’s face darkens as she says “To prove to Kami-Sama that he’s wrong, that the good can be corrupted, and that the corrupted can be redeemed, that nothing working in absolutes and black and whites forever.”
Ranma “Ah’ed” at this… it did kind of make sense after all.
“Now then back to where I was before we were rudely interrupted…” Hild said “…Now Ranma do you see now your taint? Do you think you could let go of all that, considering how they treated you? No friends for so many years? Constant battles for your survival? Your curse? No choices? Even your love, Akane wouldn’t let you choose your gender for a relationship, it was either her way, or no way…” by now Ranma was shaking again as her teeth were grinding “…could you?”
Through her gritted teeth Ranma answers “No…” then looks at Hild and asks “… How do you know so much about me anyways?”
“Why I read your file while you were sleeping of course.” Hild replied.
“My file?” Ranma asked with a dubious tone.
To this Hild just smiled, snapped her fingers, and a small grey single drawer metal filing cabinet popped into existence beside Hild, then she said “Yes, your file.”
Ranma looks at the cabinet unimpressed and says “Your saying that’s my life?” Hild just nods with a grin and says “See for yourself.”
Getting out of her seat and walking to the cabinet Ranma hears Hild say something about being careful, just as she pulls the handle on the drawer. And like a rocket the drawer comes out, dragging Ranma with it, it just kept on coming out. From the small case there were feet, then yards, and then a dozen yards of file drawer, two dozen, then three dozen. And then it suddenly stopped, the drawer bobbing up and down slightly with Ranma still clutching onto the handle on the drawer, after being dragged across the room.
Regaining her balance, Ranma looks at the impossibly extended file drawer, then back and Hild and askes “How?!”
Hild just looks at her as a twinkle of glee forms in her eyes as she says “It’s magic, don’t you know, never believe it’s not so!”
Ranma just stared at Hild for that… odd response and then asks “So… my entire life if here huh?...” Hild nods yes “… even why I got cursed at Jusenkyo?” again Hild nods yes as a single plain manila file folder pushes its way up to be noticed. With one more glance at Hild Ranma walks over and pulls out the folder, it’s tag corner just a bunch of numbers, she opens it… then her jaw drops as she was expecting some boring papers, what she’s seeing is more like a movie. There she sees herself back when she was a he, Genma taunting him, the Jusenkyo guide warning him… the panda jumping from the pool… then him flying through the air… then a invisible black line altered his course to fall in the Nyannichuan… ‘Wait a sec… black line? I don’t remember no black line!’ Ranma thought.
Turning to face Hild Ranma asks “Hey what’s this black line comin’ from the drowned girl spring mean?”
Hild just says “That is a result of your mothers wish… she wished for you to be drawn to and attracted to young women everywhere… well that spring holds a girls spirit… hence you were drawn into it, in fact that was probably the only spring you could have fallen into in Jusenkyo.”
Hearing this, Ranma begins to shake, holding the file that has started to reply from the beginning so tight that her knuckles are turning white Ranma grits out “You mean that the wish …NODOKA… made got me cursed!”
“Right on the money Ranma” Hild said back, still in her seat.
For a few moments Ranma just stands there, shaking, then she purples in rage as she shouts with all her might “DAMN THAT BITCH!”
Calmed slightly from her cathartic release Ranma realizes she’s feeling funny, looking down she sees why as she’s slowing with a blue as ice battle aura that is writhing on her body like flame… then she notices she’s fading! Bringing her hand to her face she watches as it is there one moment, then gone the next. So entranced Ranma doesn’t even hear Hild saying something… but she does feel the slap on her cheek. Blinking a few times she notices the aura is gone and that she looks solid again. Ranma then hears Hild as she’s saying “Really Ranma, you have to be careful now, you’re a new spirit, your energy is finite! Use too much and you’ll burn away!”
To this Ranma just twiddles her thumbs and mumbles “Sorry…”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for Ranma.” Hild says backing away from the redheaded girl.
After a few moments of quite between the two women, Ranma asks “So… what now?”
Now grinning Hild says “Now Ranma… now you have choices to make…” Ranma’s eyes widen at this prospect of getting to make choices for her own life… well after-life that is “…first you could go into Limbo and wait to possibly be reincarnated… though through this, you, Ranma will cease to exist when you’re reborn…” Ranma thinks about this for about half a second before shaking her head and saying “No way… I wanna’ stay me.”
Her grin a little wider now Hild continues “Or you could stay a free spirit here in Niffelheim… or you could take a very hard path at the chance to get your revenge… but it’s a long term commitment Ranma, you’d have power, but you can’t take it just for revenge… so what is it you want?”
Smiling a truly devilish smile and absently rubbing her hands together Ranma says excitedly “Tell me more about that last one, what do I gotta’ do for that one?”
Smiling right back at Ranma, Hild says happily “First, the most important part…” she pauses to exhale with hopeful anticipation “… do you think you could call me “Mom”?”
Ranma is silent for several minutes, and Hild is beginning to worry that she might say no… understandably considering how Nodoka treated her…
Then Ranma looks right into Hilds eyes, and doesn’t flinch, she then turns her smile up by several factors as she says “I think I can do that…” pause with a inhalation of breath “…Hild-Mama.”
Hearing the phrase she’s so longed to hear for so long, Hild chokes up with genuine happiness and just hugs Ranma tightly.
And unknown to all at this very moment a brand new blue thread of brightly lit magic lines and text and fate forms from the nothingness and begins to weave itself up through Nidhogg, spiraling and corkscrewing itself through the insurmountable darkness, and around all the other innumerable bands of kaleidoscopic colors of glowing magic lines and spinning reflective gear like wheels of fate… Unnoticed even by goddess Ere, Cronos and Ex in the Yggrassil master control room in Asgard as it slowly cements a tie even there…
- - - - - -
A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long, but I had a nasty electrical burn on the back of the knuckles of my index, middle and ring finger on my right hand. Even though much of this is written by dictation software, I still need to be able to type...
Chapter title suggestions are welcome! I’m thinking “Choices Made” or “While you were sleeping.”
Thoughts?

[Musouka]

very well done.
Just one thing...

down filled mattress, violet canopy bed she'd ever seen in her life

I think this should be canopied

[Dumbledork]

Excellent. The explanation about the taint makes sense. But I think that Ranma takes the path of revenge a little too fast. The same goes to his acceptance of Hild as his mother. But nevertheless an excellent chapter. And Ryoga really is a bastard in this story. Can't wait to see Ranma's revenge plans for him.

[Ketheria_mt]

I'm finding myself enjoying this so far. I hope it doesn't devolve into a purely revenge fic though you seem to be intending for character growth, both in Ranma and in those that she seeks revenge upon. If Hild is looking for an heir, Ranma will have to be more than just a thug out for revenge (petty or otherwise).

“… you see that low some little cave

loathsome
-mt

[Dumbledork]

Yes, I hope that Ranma will grow too. But with Hild and maybe Mara as her teachers this should be good. Personally I don't have anything against a purely revenge oriented fic (ifthe revenge is done subtlely and cruelly) but this has a lot more potential thatn a pure revenge fic.

[Sopchoppy]

Great Addition, looking forward to the next.

[UberJugla]

Actually, it would be canopy bed. Thats the descriptive of that particular style. Therefore saying is was the biggest canopy bed she'd ever seen in here life is correct. It just looks strange... you don't "see" that many of them described in textual form

[Cyber_Skaarj]

I did try to go through this, but only got about a third of the way through before giving up. The reason? The paragraphs are far too long (which makes them quite the chore to read), and you are constantly switching between past and present tense.
As an example of the latter case:

“Vultures…” Nabiki said quietly to herself, then sighed; thinking ‘…but who knew so many people knew Ranma?

Then, in the same paragraph:

Nabiki then turns away from the depressing skies, to the depressing atmosphere of the room as she looks at her family, the Saotome’s, Ryoga, Ukyo and Happosai

And right after that:

all sitting around the dining table, all starring blankly with deep bags under their eyes. ‘Probably nightmares…’ she thought, then sighed and continued rubbing at her eyes and suppressing a yawn ‘…if they got any sleep that is…’

Take my advice; try to write the whole thing in past tense instead of constantly switching. It will make it flow far better.

[Wray Loflin]

The main thing I can see that you need to correct is your changing from past tense to present tense. You should never write a story in the present tense it does not read as well. It is also not proper grammer, even though you see so many people posting stories to Fanfiction.net that way. It detracts away from what could be a good story. Your paragraph lenght is a little long.

[Hazard]

Whether you write in the past or the present tense doesn't really matter, as long as you do so consistently. It is however easier to write a story in the past tense, as stories are usually told that way too.

"Is one of these Shikim bad?” Nabiki ventured to the rapidly inebriated spirit.

I would assume you meant Shikima.
And I also assume that the moment Ranma agreed to call Hild 'mom' is the moment the adoption became official and he became 'Heir Apparant of the Throne of Niflheim and all it's Domains'?

[Innortal]

Only a few mistakes, with spelling taint and you said the others plae when the former Happosai spoke.

[Metroidvania]

Spelling errors I found out, may not be in perfect order storywise.

Tained!

tainted!

“Oh, just a side project I’ve had to corrupt a goddess.” Hild says back casually, to which Ranma can only ask “Why?”
To this Hild’s face darkens as she says “To prove to Kami-Sama that he’s wrong, that the good can be corrupted, and that the corrupted can be redeemed, that nothing working in absolutes and black and whites forever.”
Ranma “Ah’ed” at this… it did kind of make sense after all.

So, Hild's not evil, but trying to prove a point? That's certainly not differing from canon..... And who's her example of the corrupted being redeemed, then? Ranma?

Your saying that’s my life

you're

“I don’t wanna’ talk about him…” Ranam says through gritted teeth.

(winces)
Ranma
......
Hmm....Ranma's too totally accepting of Hild, too fast, IMO. Especially with the "mama".
I echo Skaarj's and Wray's comments about tenses. IMO, it's more distracting in this chapter than in the last. May wish to work on that.

[Tuisto]

After diligently taking in all the comments so far (Thank you, I love you all dearly!) I've fixed the spelling errors... but as I was rereading it for proofing, I realized that I really rushed the end... so I'm rewriting all of the last bit, to make Ranma's acceptance of the choice an easier read that'll flow into the story better. (sigh) I'm going to have another 1000 words just for that bit before I'm through...
Who knew writing a fanfic epic would be so hard?

[ranger5]

The "taint" explanation was well done.
Also like the "disagreement" between Hild and Kami-sama. While probably not theologically sound by Western thought, it does go well with my (admittedly limited -- couple of manga and two movies) perception of how the demons and gods/goddesses interact in AMG. You generally don't see "pure destructive evil" in that show. Well done.
Overall a good chapter.

[Wolfhunter]

“To prove to Kami-Sama that he’s wrong, that the good can be corrupted, and that the corrupted can be redeemed, that nothing working in absolutes and black and whites forever.”

This part didn't seemed to flow well. Felt kind of like a run on sentence.
Maybe try:
"To prove to Kami-Sama that he's wrong. To prove that the good can be corrupted while the corrupted can be redeemed. Nothing works in absolutes forever."
Overall, I liked this chapter the best out of the three chapters.