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Re: Strained Harmony ch4

Perhaps it's because at least for me I think you're a talented writer who has buried that talent under loads of junk. I was kind of hoping my comments about hurting you would knock you out of just that. But instead it obviously hasn't, which is a shame. But if you really don't want to hear from me a...
by frice2000
Sun Apr 06, 2014 4:46 pm
 
Forum: Stories and C&C
Topic: Strained Harmony ch4
Replies: 38
Views: 11489

Re: Strained Harmony ch4

and a couple and their child stepped Too perfect. Inject personality. Usagi and Usa seem to constantly needle each other. Where is that sort of thing? If it has to be about clothing which seems to be a thing you love have her saying something about how gaudy Usagi's dress is and how hers is better....
by frice2000
Sun Apr 06, 2014 1:47 pm
 
Forum: Stories and C&C
Topic: Strained Harmony ch4
Replies: 38
Views: 11489

Re: Ranma - Senshi Assassin

Considering that Beryl was totally willing to bind herself to a demon from the Sun that wanted to consume all life to get her man...And Serenity was pretty much the exact anti-thesis to that. Plus that the Silver Crystal which was used by both of them was always a life bringing and purifying tool, f...
by frice2000
Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:24 pm
 
Forum: Ideas, Outlines and Scenes
Topic: Ranma - Senshi Assassin
Replies: 87
Views: 26618

Re: Ranma - Senshi Assassin

I'm not saying her being happy she's doing this. But you're giving someone you just met a lot of power. Serenity is not some evil queen, in fact she seemed to rule a pretty prosperous long lived kingdom, that we haven't seen has some super ugly underside. That and the Senshi are her immortal warrior...
by frice2000
Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:08 pm
 
Forum: Ideas, Outlines and Scenes
Topic: Ranma - Senshi Assassin
Replies: 87
Views: 26618

Re: Ranma - Senshi Assassin

Black Ops and operators are all well and logical. Serenity being an unfeeling lack of warmth bitch when she's doing her spell to create a new senshi...That doesn't feel right.
by frice2000
Sun Mar 30, 2014 8:10 pm
 
Forum: Ideas, Outlines and Scenes
Topic: Ranma - Senshi Assassin
Replies: 87
Views: 26618

Re: Ranma - Senshi Assassin

I'd give Serenity a bit of a nicer side then all the darkness from that last bit. Let her still be a positive figure, while realistically still needing someone like the new senshi you're developing. So still show compassion here, not just being so manner of fact. That'd instantly make the not at all...
by frice2000
Sun Mar 30, 2014 3:07 pm
 
Forum: Ideas, Outlines and Scenes
Topic: Ranma - Senshi Assassin
Replies: 87
Views: 26618

Re: Night Shift 3

At some point good ideas regardless of merit have to stop. Begins to be too much bloat.

Congrats on 200 posts in this thread :)!
by frice2000
Sun Mar 09, 2014 9:11 pm
 
Forum: Stories and C&C
Topic: Night Shift 3
Replies: 200
Views: 44670

Re: Night Shift 3

Elementary School? Psh. Nodoka asks about schooling, Usa pulls out a few dozen diplomas, and Nodoka just nods. Then a couple weeks later tells her to go to back to University and get her Doctorate!
by frice2000
Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:28 am
 
Forum: Stories and C&C
Topic: Night Shift 3
Replies: 200
Views: 44670

Re: Night Shift 3

When are you going to start on the next one? I'm excited to see more!
by frice2000
Sat Mar 08, 2014 6:32 pm
 
Forum: Stories and C&C
Topic: Night Shift 3
Replies: 200
Views: 44670

Re: Idea for a Ranma/My Little Pony story

Ok I look forward to seeing it.
by frice2000
Sun Feb 16, 2014 6:09 pm
 
Forum: Ideas, Outlines and Scenes
Topic: Idea for a Ranma/My Little Pony story
Replies: 7
Views: 2959

Re: The Dark Lords Ascendant, Chapter 8 [R/SM Cross]

important his needs were than everybody else's. Could mix that in with the previous age and darkness bit and make it better. He thinks he's the hero, not that he's forcing his needs above theirs and is only taking the just reward in response to being the best most magnanimous teacher ever. At least...
by frice2000
Sun Feb 16, 2014 6:08 pm
 
Forum: Stories and C&C
Topic: The Dark Lords Ascendant, Chapter 8 [R/SM Cross]
Replies: 7
Views: 2151

Re: Night Shift 3

in all seriousness, I'm imagining her outright threatening Usa with grievous bodily harm (and likely enacting (relatively) minor bodily harm) before just giving her the cold shoulder. And not the childish "did you hear something?" kind, but the serious "as far as I'm concerned you do...
by frice2000
Sat Feb 08, 2014 5:51 pm
 
Forum: Stories and C&C
Topic: Night Shift 3
Replies: 200
Views: 44670

Re: Ranma/Monster Musume crossover idea

It is plausible, but it's kind of been done to death. So I think it could be much more interesting if Ranma and everyone else is all surprised that Akane isn't getting jealous by the monster girls obvious affection for Ranma but Akane just doesn't see it. Just sees the girl as needing help and Ranma...
by frice2000
Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:58 am
 
Forum: Ideas, Outlines and Scenes
Topic: Ranma/Monster Musume crossover idea
Replies: 8
Views: 3183

Re: The fox and the redhead, version 2 (Ranma 1/2& Naruto)

Lots of spelling errors. 'feeling' instead of felling being the most prominent. Beyond that kind of a very odd start.
by frice2000
Fri Jan 31, 2014 7:39 pm
 
Forum: Ideas, Outlines and Scenes
Topic: The fox and the redhead, version 2 (Ranma 1/2& Naruto)
Replies: 4
Views: 2418

Re: Ranma/Monster Musume crossover idea

Kind of a cute idea, though it is attached to half a cross that's a bit too ecchi for my tastes. That said my one suggestion would be cut out a bit of the jealousy from Akane and the Tendo's. The poor girl has been abused and she's grasping at whoever offers her support. No reason to be jealous...yet.
by frice2000
Fri Jan 31, 2014 7:18 pm
 
Forum: Ideas, Outlines and Scenes
Topic: Ranma/Monster Musume crossover idea
Replies: 8
Views: 3183
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