Temple of Ranma's Sailor Senshi Seifuku

Yes it would, the size or area of an object doesn't matter a lot. Consider cracking a whip it is not the whole whip that makes the crack, it is the end of the whip breaking the sound barrier. The whole whip is not going faster than the speed of sound just the end.

Over all it seems to be a decent start. You do need to watch your tenses you wrote the majority of it in the past tense, which I like but you did switch to present tense a few times. I would suggest that you may want to change them to the past tense.

Jiraiya is the Toad Sage not the Frog Sage.

"Oh, yeah," Kaji reached back and scratched his neck. "Well it got a phone call and had to take it. Sorry I missed it." Should be "Well I got a phone call and had to take it.

You do need to have someone proofread for you, for example you have Ryoga being splashed with cold water and being thrown out a window but not changing until he splashes into the koi pond.

There are several places where you used the word floor when you should have used the word ground.

I'm willing to beta read for you too, it's best to have several if you can get them. Send to flyman@kih.net

Here is some I saw that you missed Dr. Heizia into custody, and [url]brining[/url] him to Minako’s play room, as she called it. It should be bringing him “Yes?” Was all Empress Serenity said in an ice cold voice. The mage trembled with fear. He was [url]brining[/url] good news, but who should be bri...

Patrick caught some that I had suggested when I proofread the chapter for Lio, he also caught some that I missed.

Mainly what I saw was not keeping the pronouns consistant for Ranma. Just a few times nothing to bad.

Great chapter so far I saw a few minor mistakes but overall good work. Can't wait too see more.

Here is one you missed Still, even with her quick she could tell by the interaction that there were two factions as they targeted each other nearly as often as they did the girls. It should be Still, even with her quick glance she could tell by the interaction that there were two factions as they ta...

It just begs to be longer, don't end the chapter there.

There are a few mistakes still I just sent another proofread copy to him. He may have missed some on the first copy I sent to him and I did find a couple more that I missed on the first go through.

It`s the way I preread for Sunny, I can preread for you if you want me to. Just send me a e-mail. Wray Loflin flyman@kih.net