Temple of Ranma's Sailor Senshi Seifuku

Hey everyone it's been a while, sorry I haven't posted anything recently but I've been a little busy. Anyway, if you go back a bit, you may recall that I posted the prologue to Kid's Trip to CarnEvil. Well I managed to finish it and would love to hear some feedback on it. For those who don't know, i...

I just had a sudden realization: this story could not be because Oxygen Destroyer had dissolved Godzilla. The "corpse" would be a skeleton at best, but I think even that got dissolved. Oxygen Destroyer was truly a terrifying weapon. :( Yeah but I kind of ignored that aspect for the sake o...

ckosacranoid wrote:Which movie? THERE are quite a number of zilla movies, the last one I know of is zilla 2000 where they beat up the us version and id 4 in it.

I said the first as in Godzilla (1954) aka Godzilla, King of the Monsters!

There's a tweaked version here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9694445/1/Kid-s-Trip-to-CarnEvil

while something that could be intersting....but where was the story going ebsides killing everyone after zilla is dead? like what is the carriers and why are they doing this? how did zilla die? no gaint monster to beat up zill from the past? This is suppose to take place after the first movie, Godz...

Konsaki wrote:/shrug
It might be just me but finding spots like that pull me out of the story, even if for just a moment.

I see, well anything else to praise or criticize?

Konsaki wrote:You're changing verb tenses too close together and it's reading oddly. An example is the quote above where you go from past tense to present tense.
Admittedly, it's kinda rare, but each instance is noticeable.

My apologies, is it really that distracting?

Have you tried the FF.net Beta Readers section?

A Soul Eater crossover, if you don't know what CarnEvil is, you can read here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnevil --------------------------------------------------------- Kid walked into the Death Room with Liz and Patty in tow while wondering what assignment his father had for them. It had been...

Just a little something I whipped up after being inspired by a commission. You can see the commission here: http://fav.me/d6lyap2 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Off the coast of Japan, not too far out into the Pacific Ocean, the calm waters gently ro...

Cheb wrote:Anyway, I haven't seen SM/Mythos crosses, and this one definitely deserves 4 out of 5.

Thank you very much and I'm sorry if the characters felt flat, I have difficulty comprehending how I could give them more personality...

I reiterate the above quote for SC, assuming that the post on FF.net is still the same as the original post here. I'm unable to look at the FF.net post from the computer I'm currently on, so I can't check your link. Most of the big blocks of text turn into a TL;DR blahblahblahblah mash of words. It...

Cheb wrote:Nice Pity it's unfinished.

Actually I did finish it, here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8805340/1/T ... f-the-Moon

It's just it didn't seem like anyone here cared so I didn't post the other chapters here.

So do I, but this one is also good for tracking movies, cartoons, and such.