Temple of Ranma's Sailor Senshi Seifuku

“Searing Plasma Blast!” A fountain of dust and shattered rocks spurted up under the hot Californian sun, adding to the multitude of craters peppering this deserted military grounds... [snipped] ... released Io's hand, bending down to look at her face to face. “I'll always be better!” she informed h...

Hmm... I'm going to critique rather harshly, but I hope you take it in the manner it was intended: as constructive criticism. Just to give you an idea of my critiquing process, basically I'll read the whole thing through and analyze my feelings and reactions to the piece, note them down, then read a...